around the sun
today i revel in its noon-day height
as the warmth basks my new bedroom
and me, in my birthday suit
comfortable
in my skin, and joints
even at the monitor
(thanks no doubt to lately daily yoga
- two weeks and cycling... stretching...
breathing - sometimes deeply, and learning
constantly to allow myself digression, patience
- the shallow has its benefits, too - contrast)
type a tap tap, it can be overwhelming
to stay in touch, together, on track
but it helps to strive, to practice
letting go - even though i'm not Buddhist
nor do i believe in attachment
as a negative force - not all-ways
at least - i am open - trying
to take lessons from experience
other than my own
personal(l)(it)y

b(e)(e)
exist, buzz, in a group or many
even alone i am a-part
by meritocracy or chance or neither
an illusion, but that is magic too
curious the way things change
yet stay the same, cliche, new
faces morph into familiarity and fade
shiny foils, motifs, questions recur
in new settings resembling those past
and suddenly, spiral
the present is in your hands
waiting to be unwrapped, layer by layer
a game, not so much about the final prize
but revealing new designs/colours/sensations
- will you rip the paper?
bzzzz.

c-om-mun-ity, cohesion, cariño
concepts carry and have carried me
here, to this universal (my) centre
from which i (have r)evolve(d)
for (my) eternity, destiny, energy
the little burning planet i am
on an astral course
bent on shining bright
in creation/destruction
- are those the same?
were they (n)ever?

decisions are not daunting
when you listen to the voice
of choice, and your gut and mind
collude, informing, reforming
conforming to your groove.
just move.

early this morning i danced
in a circle of drums, indoors
and blew out rob's light(er)
and ate recovered strudel
that i'd carried on jennie's bike
through the market to bloor
and got carded at the bar door
like i never did a decade before
i thought to myself:
it's nice to be home.

forgive yesterday's abandoned plans
for they know not how you've changed
and are better for it.

give yourself hugs
and send them off
to the universe
after you've had your fill.

hear, listen, absorb, internalise.

i sometimes (often) need
to remind myself
to succumb
to serenity.

join me?

keep it up.

laughing
at the silliness
of alphabetic.

missing you
but reassured by that
faith in spite of distance

no.

oh.

please.

quaint or quivering?

right on.

so...

the point is, i'm writing.
l'escriture me manque.
le français aussi.

underneath it all,
has anything really
been affected?

voila.

warm wishes flood my inbox
from over seas
places where things
are worse/different/better
dizzying, reassuring, inspiring...
where am i meant to be later?
(toronto for now feels right)

x's can be wonderful friends.

y?

zoodles.
i used to love that pasta
in a can, smothered in sweet
red tomato sauce. it's been
too long since the intervention
of politics, nutritional content
gmos, aluminum correlations...
ah, nostalgia, self-indulgant flow.
age > #
= salud y actitud.

9:30am.

"Did you just knock on my door?" I ask, groggy, through the locked bathroom door.

"No," Amira answers from within, "but there are some strange noises in here."

I pace through the kitchen of my new Kensington Market home and look out the front door; nobody's there. My heart sinks, and I'm not sure why - intuition?

I take my turn on the toilet.

All alone, I contemplate this eery feeling for mere seconds when I instinctively turn towards an increasingly common sound at the sink-end of the WR - but louder - and am staring at a little furry creature. A large little furry creature.

And - call it a hunch - I know two things immediately:

1) It's the one (or at least of the species) that's been making all the noise in the walls,

and,

2) it's definitely not a squirrel (as Bruce had pontificated).

Oh no, sirry... It's just like a mouse - a cute 'n pesky mouse - but it's too big to be a mouse. And it's staring back.

It looks less afraid than I probably do. I put on a mean veneer. Show no fear... Yeah right. I'm sure it can see right through me.

"Amira," I call, trembling a bit. I can see her shadow in the living room through the frosted brick wall. "We have a problem. I just saw it."

"Are you okay?" she asks. I'm trying to be.

It's been just over two weeks since I moved into my new Toronto home: my first _ever_ since moving out of my parents' place at 17 that I haven't seen as totally temporary. And I like it here!!

My roommates are cool, fun, interesting, and great kitchen companions to boot; my room is cozy and I'm working on the decor; the location (despite the noisy bar downstairs and the mice - which we were eradicating and I was putting up with just fine) is awesome; and I was starting to get excited about the potential for this place to be the "home sweet home" I've started really craving in my travels of late.

But I have to go to the washroom again, and I'm scared to.

I take a step out of the (psychological) safety of my room, and see its tail. Its long, skinny rat-tail.

Damn.

CANADIAN YOUTH TRAVEL TO AFRICA TO ADDRESS CANADA’S CLIMATE LEADERSHIP VOID.


(National) – A group of 21 Canadian youth, frustrated with the current lack of leadership by Canada’s federal government on climate change, is traveling to Kenya on Nov. 1 to show the world the climate crisis will not be swept under the political carpet or treated with any less importance than it demands. “Climate change is the fight of our generation,” says Naomi Devine, a youth delegate from Victoria. “We do not suffer from a lack of solutions. Where are our political leaders on this? Since they are far too few, and far too quiet, we must become those leaders.”

Cameron Stiff, general coordinator for the delegation, notes that “it is critical for youth to be there. We know what’s happening to our atmosphere is threatening our very chances of survival - our food, our energy and our international security. We are getting dangerously close to the edge. Our society needs to acknowledge that – and implement solutions that match the seriousness of the threat we face.”

The delegation will travel to Nairobi, Kenya from November 1 to 17 and continue to build on the successes achieved at last year’s climate change conference, held in Montreal. Since then, Canada’s government has faced both international and domestic criticism for its lack of support of the Kyoto Protocol, the only global agreement that sets hard targets for greenhouse gas emissions reductions.

With no government support they are fundraising and organizing the trip to the 12th annual international climate change conference to the UN. Hailing from across the country, the group brings diverse perspectives to the table, with a strong emphasis on education, action, and leadership. The Canadian ENGO community is supportive but, like many advocacy groups in Canada, has recently witnessed dramatic funding cuts.

The Canadian Youth Delegation to Nairobi formed out of the founding summit of the Canadian Youth Climate Coalition, held in early September in Toronto. The number of individuals on the Youth Delegation is projected to rival that of the entire Canadian governmental delegation to the international conference.

Support from the both community groups, individuals and businesses is sought in order to ensure that as many members of the delegation as possible have a chance to attend and have their voices heard. Interested donors can make contributions at www.canadahelps.org, under the name Canadian Youth Delegation. Charitable tax receipts can be issued for any amount.

For Interviews with Youth Delegates in specific regions, please speak to a Regional Contact:

Naomi Devine, BC (250) 472-5170
Aiden Abram, Ontario (519) 760-0701
Nathalie Arsenault, Quebec (514) 937-4997
Zoe Caron, Nova Scotia (902) 444-3113
Josh Darrach, Prince Edward Island (902) 393-0822

www.cydnairobi.ca

"Dropping knowledge is a global initiative to turn apathy into activity. By hosting an open conversation on the most pressing issues of our times, we will foster a worldwide exchange of viewpoints, ideas and people-powered solutions. However knowledge is defined, by dropping it freely to others, we all gain wisdom."

Check it out.

http://www.droppingknowledge.org/

For a slide show overview of the project:
http://www.droppingknowledge.org/bin/dk?ph=slideshow&slideNumber=0

If nothing else, the commercials are better than any "real programming" I've seen in a long time:
http://www.droppingknowledge.org/bin/dk?ph=commercials_gallery

I don't like to send forwards, so I'm posting one I got here instead. On some level, I guess I always know this stuff exists. But in the midst of my planning the World Urban Festival, it sends shivers down my spine to be reminded that other people are organising with very different intentions. Let's hope there's still hope out there...
~c

----------
Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2006 09:15:02 -0400
Subject: this time it's in color...

i don't mean to start your day off on the wrong foot but...

NOT IN GERMANY BUT IN THE UNITED STATES
Not in the 1940's, but right now...

How many of you really know what's happening in your own back yard??

They're not scared anymore. In broad daylight, in the middle of downtown, by cynically manipulating the freedom of speech, and with police protection they spread their hate everywhere they can.

Don't stand aside on this, take a stance and make sure that this will never happened again.
Forward this Email to as many people you can so every one will know.

The movie is from Israel and it's about the Nazis' of Minnesota filmed on 4/23/2006.

Please take a couple of minutes and watch this movie.

http://img2.tapuz.co.il/forums/1_78931098.htm

I've tried to do my research to see if this is true, and here's what I found:

http://www.adl.org/learn/ext_us/The_National_Socialist_Movement.asp?LEARN_Cat=Extremism&LEARN_SubCat=Extremism_in_America&xpicked=3&item=nsm

Scary huh?

Ever since we took to the streets on Saturday afternoon, en masse, clothing optional, smiling and singing and shouting gleeful slogans like "Use less gas; use your ass!" being on my bike has seemed more like constant celebration than mundane commute. Thanks to everyone who helped make reclaiming the streets a party on wheels. Something about the sun coming out in Vancouver, being so active and calm in my body, busy-ness with a purpose, beautiful people and scenery everywhere... makes this chapter of my life, saliently transitory and yet an indisputably meaningful slice of the scroll, seem a strong orange-yellow reflection of strengthening core chakras and muscles and fires...

Next big event will be EARTH: the World Urban Festival (www.worldurbanfestival.com). Hope to see everyone there!

Hey folks,

I just wanted to let those of you who may be in/around Toronto this week know about an awesome event called RAISE, happening Saturday, April 22nd (full DETAILS below this letter). I played the last show and I can attest to its being one of the hottest collaborations going - and I'm not just saying that because I'm involved. Think: Cirque Du Soleil meets Queen West gallery district. Plus you get to see me bang the big sordu drum (sorta the Brazilian samba version of the Japanese tai-ko). Plus it's all for a good cause!

If you like acrobatics, dance, music, and/or other art and can come, do. I promise you won't regret it. Entrance is sliding scale, so don't worry if you can't afford the suggested $20 - nobody will be turned away. FYI, there are different drummers scheduled for the final show (the 29th), so I probably won't be in/at that one.

Hope to see you there this Saturday :)

Saludos,
Cara


DETAILS:

Circus performers, musicians, artists and filmmakers have come together to create RAISE, a fundraiser for Carolyn Pioro, an injured circus performer. It takes place every Saturday in April at the DeLeon White Gallery (1096 Queen W.) at 8pm. Cover is $20 (suggested donation) and you can call 416-597-9466 for more details.

Members of Samba Elegua (including me!) will be opening up the show,in concert with some fine dancers, so show up on time! The set then transitions into awesome aerial performances of several varieties (trapeze, silks, rope, etc.), while the dancers keep doing their thing on ground below. If you feel like dressing to match the theme (think:
pirate meets cabaret), go for it!

On the second floor, there will be an art installation piece by Brian Corte involving self-made clouds watched from a comfy faux-fur covered bed below (watch out - this one can suck you in!), along with a cash bar, free baked munchies and a silent auction. The rooftop patio will be host to our second percussion set, as we accompany the fire
spinners' dazzling performances.

RAISE is being held in support of Carolyn Pioro, an aerialist performer and instructor with Cirque Sublime in Toronto, who in September fell from her trapeze and injured her spinal cord. All those involved are her friends and peers, or, like me, performers volunteering for the cause. The entire event is coming from the community as donated, volunteered, and gifted services and materials. All proceeds from the event are going to Carolyn and her family to aid them in medical costs and for investment for her future care. Hence, RAISE is a celebration of life and physicality in her honour.

Holy s*%t!!

I just found out I've been selected Assistant National Leader of the Canadian Delegation on the Ship for World Youth. One of the perks of this position: I'm the only youth delegate from Canada who will have an audience with the Crown Prince of Japan! I am totally freaked out...

What do I do? Can anyone out there teach me the proper protocol, or something appropriate to say, or something about Japan...

Anyone, anyone?? ;)

Thanks,
Cara "Gump"
http://www.swycanada.org/what_is_swy.html

I was just chosen to participate as a Canadian delegate on the 18th Ship for World Youth!!!

So, starting in January 2006, courtesy of the Japanese government, I'll be flying to Tokyo and "sailing" from Harumi with youth from many countries (to be specific: Australia, Kingdom of Bahrain, Federative Republic of Brazil, Canada, Hellenic Republic, India, the Republic of Kenya, the Republic of Mauritius, Kingdom of Morocco, Kingdom of Sweden, Kingdom of Tonga, United Arab Emirates and, of course, Japan) to such ports as Channai, India; Mombassa, Kenya and Port Louis, Mauritius!! I can't wait..

More details at http://www.swycanada.org (for tentative schedule see http://www.swycanada.org/swy18_apply.html)!!

Hey, J, no worries about the job coming through... I still totally appreciate your telling me about the possibility and looking out for me!! As for other possibilities, I'm following up on some leads, but so far nothing is seeming extremely appealing AND available to me in the near future; a bit of column A and a bit of B, but not a lot of crossover...

Meanwhile, the result of some major hassles with getting home resulted in my arriving in BC a couple days ago. See, long story short, I ended up having to buy a whole new ticket from Lima to Canada, and it turned out that I could stop in Toronto, period, or, for $20USD more, I could have a stop-over there and then go on to Vancouver a couple weeks later, which is what I ended up doing - one way.

Being back in Ontario was amazing, and I actually managed to see most of the people and manifest most of the situations I'd been fantasizing about for the last 5 months (e.g., surprising the heck out of my grandparents and friends by randomly showing up at their doors without warning, spending 5 days making yummy veggie food and music and community-building at Kimbercote farm, solo canoeing down a beautiful river nearby, hanging out with a bunch of people at Em's place passing around my guitarrita and laughing lots, sneaking into the pool at Christie Pitts in the middle of the night/morning and swimming Garden-of-Eden style, going to a drum circle on Cherry Beach, seeing my recently high-school-graduated baby brother before he heads off to university in the fall).

I'm totally without a plan of action out here, except to see Katie, my oldest friend from SFU, who recently got engaged, and Emma, my "fairy god-daughter" who is now almost two and a half and whom I haven't seen since she was an infant, and some other ideas I've got planted, many involving green.

Still applying for jobs, and looking out for other opportunities that may come my way (maybe even more school!), and trying to enjoy the last bit of summer. To be honest, I won't be too upset not to have work in the next month, but once it starts getting cold, it would be great to have something great lined up.

I hear you on the difficulty adjusting to the gringo world after Mehico. Getting back to Canada after almost 5 months away just now was NOTHING compared to when I came home from Mariachilandia. That was probably the hardest adjustment I've ever made - even harder than moving TO Mexico in the first place!

Hmm... I wish I had more exciting news, but nothing I have to say seems worth "writing home about" - just little quirky things that have become normal in my life. Okay, I'll give you a couple...

Yesterday I met up with Dawn and Davy, a couple of contact-juggling/fire-spinning friends from Toronto who are now living here and want to start a busking routine. They're great at what they do, but not so sure how to get the patter and more theatrical stuff started, so I took on the "stage manager" role and started playing around with different stories they could act out. Then we, and another friend, all started dressing up in silly outfits and, partly for the somewhat professional reason of getting them desensitized to "looking like idiots in public," as Dawn put it, and partly just for the heck of it, decided to go take a walk on Commercial Drive and go to dinner. As a frog/fly (Dawn), clown (Davy), jester (Dylan), and super-heroine/princess (me). And video tape the whole thing. So, we did. And it was very fun. And then we watched it. And it was very funny.

Today, I met up with Dharma for lunch, but I wasn't feeling any of the food court options, so he picked up a sandwich and some chili and we started walking towards the water to find a nice place to sit. When we hit the park-ish deal at the corner of Hastings, though, it was full of all sorts of corporate types, for some "tenant appreciation lunch." Rather than turn around, as Dharm started to do, I gave him a sneaky look and he reluctantly followed along, saying "you know, they have been known to ask for some ID at these sorts of functions..." just as some lady handed us shiny bead necklaces for the apparent "Mardi Gras" theme. Having been practically invited in, we followed the line to the catered meal and I picked up some veggie jambalaya and salad. We then sat down and witnessed a somewhat embarrassing parade of the chosen representatives from each of the offices in the building sporting shiny masks and marching beside the hired entertainment, who was wearing very little and shaking in a style quite out of place in downtown Vancouver...

Anyways, I'm exhausted, and Katie, with whom I've been staying so far, is leaving for Vegas in the morning for a wedding and I've gotta find out where I'm moving to when we get up, so with that I shall say good night!!

Buenas noches :) Tag, you're it!

Saludos,
Cara

P.S. I think this is the most detailed e-mail I've written in a very, very long time. In fact, if you don't mind, I think I will copy it into my online journal, which I have been shamefully neglecting of late...

Why is it that compliments by potential employers starting to come off as insults?!

Have I become the proverbial (career) girl with the great personality?? Is there still a chance I will find the job of my dreams, the love of my CV? Or will I keep hearing how much great-sounding employers just want to stay friends? :P

For example, an excerpt from today's in-box:

Thank you very much for your application...

In short, unfortunately, we are not able to offer you this position. You were a very strong candidate, but in the end we decided to go with someone else.

To be frank, this was a difficult decision--you were a strong candidate with a lovely personality and loads of potential. In the end, however, we decided to go with someone with a bit more experience and more African focus.

If you want to discuss this, please don't hesitate do contact me. Thank you, however, for your interest and please stay in touch--there could be room to work together in the future.

Or another recent addition:

Nous tenons à te remercier, sincèrement, pour ton intérêt... À la suite du processus de sélection auquel nous t'avons conviée, j'ai le regret de t'annoncer que ta candidature n'a pas été retenue pour les étapes finales. Cela n'enlève rien au fait que nous considérons que tu as un profil académique et des expériences professionnelles qui, nous en sommes certains, te permettront de trouver un emploi à la hauteur de tes aspirations.

N'hésites pas à me contacter lorsque tu seras de retour, il me fera plaisir de te rencontrer. En attendant, je te conseille de bien surveiller le site X pour de nouveaux poste à paraître dans les prochaines semaines.

Je te souhaite bonne chance dans tes recherches.

I got to the middle of the Kimbercote labyrinth and paused.

The words spiralling in my head silenced and I looked down at the stone in the middle, the one that with each step I'd been weaving towards, even as my direction seemed to head away, and felt I had arrived.

It had chipped in spots and I pocketed a couple of the resulting jaged rocks. Wanting to leave something of myself behind, I reached into my pocket. My change purse. A Canadian penny. So perfect. A maple leaf. The currency of my homeland.

I placed it in the centre, grounded myself, and spiralled back towards the outside.

I am officially back.

It feels good to be home.

I´ve been bad at updating, have many stories to add, but felt it
timely to add that I lived through an earthquake about an hour ago!!
I was in a manequin-filled dress shop waiting to have zipper on my new
pants (purchased yesterday due to the malfunctioning fly of my
previous pants) fixed when everyone jumped up ran out to the street.
Not the smartest emergency response, but it didn´t seem too major to
me, so I followed. It actually seemed quite exciting and not so scary
to me, but the shop owner was screaming, so I put on my calming street
medic hat and offered the only sensible response of calming words and
a hug offer, which she accepted. The whole thing was surreal, the
cobble stone shaking beneath us and everyone looking shocked...

In other news, I´m going on a 3 day trek to the Cañon del Colca tomorrow, and
by Saturday plan to be in Cusco to meet up with Jacob, who´s flying
in. Oh, gotta run, hit send, internet about to shut down!!

Backdated from Monday, April 25, 2005 11:55pm-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Jujuy Terminal, San Salvador de Jujuy, Argentina.

Brrr. Waiting for remise to Salta cuz Bolut, the only company with
buses still going there, doesn't leave until at least 1:20am and takes
2.5 hours instead of under 2 in a smaller vehicle. Which makes this
seem a more reasonable, albeit sketchier, option. Ariel and Gabriel,
who are also waiting for the Remis driver to appear, I´m not too sure
about, but they apparently own a bar called La Palmira (the same name
as the hospedaje I stayed at in Iruya) in Jujuy, so at least there´s a
reference if I disappear or something…

Spent most of a beautiful (cold, cloudy) day in Purmamarca with
Gonzalo A., an intriguing painter/shopkeeper who I somehow connected
with upon visual impact. He took me to La Peña, his uncle Mario's
restaurant, where he was working on a huge canvas and has some of his
earlier works displayed. Then we went and hung out in his aunt's
shop, where he works, and I finally got my hands on a somewhat tuned
guitar and tried working out the song I've been trying to write in my
head for weeks. Periodically, we popped back into La Peña (only a
block away), where I watched him paint and took a bunch of pictures
and ate humitas (corn-cheese mixture wrapped and boiled in the corn
sheath, sorta like a tamale) .

Next, we walked to El Caminito de los Colorados together, on the way
stopping by the house he is (re)building on the land his grandmother
left him and his late great-grandmother's house and land (replete with
¨artistically¨ unkept fields and living space and visiting cats),
where he is officially living until the former's completion. The
scenery there is really something else. I didn't make it out to las
Salinas (salt deposits), which would have been a longer, hired
excursion, but I figure I've gotta leave something for another time…

Back to the shop, more of the same, and La Peña (gotta love small
towns, eh?), where this time I hung out with the chef in the kitchen
and learned to make empanadas (i.e., stuff the pre-made dough circles
with cheese-onion-red pepper filling and fold with little ridges).
I'm a natural! Plus I got the bonus priviledge of getting to eat on
the job – I opted not to accept the drink offers from the moso
(waiter), who had obviously been helping himself a bit too much in
that regard, and decided he was in love with me (and every other young
woman who came into the restaurant).

We had a bit too much fun in the kitchen, I guess, cuz I ended up just
missing the 9:15pm last bus from Purmamarca to Jujuy. Luckily, with
the help of a $3 peso cab ride, I caught up with it on the highway
where it was stopped for some sort of military inspection.

Goodbyes are strange things. I was unable to read most of the words
Gonzalo wrote in the little brown book I´ve been passing around to
folks I encounter, but even after just one day of shared presence, I
know he is a character I will fondly remember. I am pretty sure from
his accompanying sketch of (presumably) me - with big, bright, shining
eyes – that I also made a lasting impression.

Backdated from Sunday, April 24, 2005 11:51pm-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Bed, Purmamarca, Jujuy, Argentina.

I´m at my ¨hospedaje,¨ which is more like a room with old beds (all
but mine unoccupied, my stuff notwithstanding) attached to the pizza
joint across the street from from Chapanal, which had been recommended
as nice for its $7 pesos price tag by Maxi and Magdala in Iruya and
was closed when I arrived. I´m only paying $5 pesos (less than $2.50
CDN) here, so I can´t really complain that the washroom, outside and
around the back of the restaurant/house, has no toilet paper (or seat
or hot water or mirror or soap or towel, etc.)!

I´m lying here, probably past midnight, reading through the final
section of the ¨Traveller´s Companion¨ Argentina guide that Chad R.
left me in BsAs, noticing mistakes in the English-Argentine glossary,
and fantasizing about starting an NGO or maybe even getting back into
the academia in some interesting, worthwhile, fulfilling area… I must
get Internet access soon and look into possibilities.

My back will be sore from this mattress tomorrow, but I´m hoping that
Jose, my Hospitality Club host in Salta, will have a comfy bed and, if
I´m lucky, a washing machine. I´m in need. Not direly, but my
clothes (especially the ¨poyeras¨ and repaired green pants and light
blue fleece I´ve been living in) could sure use a good wash after
being subjected to all the dust of Jujuy and Salta …

Backdated from Sunday, April 24, 2005 9pm-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Micro stopped in Tilcara, heading from Humahuaca to Purmamarca, Jujuy,
Argentina.

Just kissed off Ari and Natalia. Boo.

But hello to fresh re-beginnings…

Restaurant sign: Pacha Mama. And I recollect that all the food I´ve
been eating of late has probably been organic. Not for morality, but
want of availability or volition to acquire chemical aids, I suppose.
Despite the posters in Iruya linking indigenous ways and histories
with environmental care/concern/stewardship…

And I recall the cattle grazing free in the arid desert mountains.
Not a bad life, all considered. I don´t think my moral grounds for
vegetarianism apply so much here. Then again, I haven´t been
overwhelmed by a huge desire for a thick cut of steak or milanesa or
blood sausage yet. Been… AHH, BUS LIGHTS OUT!

Backdated from Sunday, April 24, 2005 3:45pm (mined from paper journal.)

Seat 12 or 13, bus leaving Iruya headed for Humahuaca, Jujuy, Argentina.

We left surprisingly on time (3:15pm), given that around 2:30pm the
news had reached us that the bus had broken down on the way into town.
Some poor mother of 2 had tried to come in for the 2 hour gap between
the bus's scheduled arrival and departure, and ended up having to
leave ¨justo cuando llego¨ - weird – Español invading my mind. But in
the current context, I think I´m doing an okay job keeping Spanish
(which I´ve been speaking almost exclusively) and English (which I´ve
been thinking and writing almost exclusively) in good and separate
condition. I´ll have to do something to whip the French back into
shape – maybe a Vipassana course in Quebec when I´m back up north?

Anyways, we´re on our way. Bad break for that woman. I´d have been
pissed. It´s not a short or comfy journey, especially with little
ones in tow.

Cumbia music is playing. Ari hates it. I´d look to see how he´s
doing all alone over in seat 14, but the aisle's full of standing
passengers (for a change!).

Damn, a fly just flew right into my eye! Grr… It interrupted my
thoughts about how permaculture-friendly the (adobe?) ¨brick¨ houses
we keep passing are, and wonder about their construction. It seems,
colour and texture-wise, to be almost the same material as the cliffs
all around us. I also really like the stone corals and walls/ridges
all over the place.

Which of course brings us back to the complicated theme of poverty and
environmental friendliness – like how lifestyles inspired by extreme
necessity seem to complement sustainability, despite the general lack
of environmentalist consciousness (at least as we Northerners know it)
amongst poorer populations (I write this knowing I am risking putting
myself in potentially offensive territory with this whole line of
thinking, and acknowledging that I am painting with a wide stroke).
It definitely can´t be argued, though, that living in a clay-based
structure that doesn´t have an infrastructure that allows for the
wastage of power and resources both costs less and is better for the
environment… All of which calls into question the delicacy of the
utopian desire of some (including myself) to simultaneously reduce
poverty and increase greenness in the world.

Backdated from Sunday, April 24, 2005 10:30am (mined from paper journal.)

Posada Palmira, Iruya, Salta, Argentina.

It´s beautiful here, but cold at night. So much that I bought a $25
peso windbreaker-fleece-lined jacket, replete with rip-off ¨Champion¨
symbol, at the Bolivia-style market, upon arrival Friday evening.

Yesterday we (me, Ariel, Natalia, and a Spanish couple: Magdala and
Maximiliana) walked with Romina, our today-turned-15-year-old guide,
from Iruya to San Isidrio, a neighbouring village about 3 tough
up-and-down hours (climbs at this altitude are killer) there and 3
more interesting back-and-forth-along-the-river (easier but wetter)
hours back

Lunch was a stop into a little home-based artisan co-op/restaurant
where there were literally no vegetarian options, so while the rest of
the group ordered (carne-filled) empanadas, I ran around the corner
with Romina to a house that I was informed doubles as a food
dispensary. I confused them by asking for a sandwich without any form
of meat. They incredulously prepared me a flesh-free, mayo-free
cheese and tomato on white focacia-type bread, and then when I saw
green peppers and offered to purchase one to have some sliced into the
mix, they reluctantly obliged.

Back in Iruya, since I´d found out along the way that she had no
special plans, we took Romina out to celebrate her birthday. Natalia
and I ducked out of the little restaurant to buy birthday candles.
Apparently, from the reactions we encountered as we ran around to
every open kiosk we could find, these are not a particularly hot item
in Iruya. We ended up settling on a pack of larger animal-fat-based
candles, one of which we stuck into a mini-flan someone had given the
sole chef/server working both the kitchen and the tables that night.
This was very lucky, as nothing on the Tina´s official ¨menu¨ - only
distributed in oral form - was remotely cake-like.

It was a good day. Now we are leaving Iruya at 3:15pm, today´s only
scheduled bus, and in Humahuaca will go our separate ways – Ariel and
Natalia back to Inti Tampu to get their car and spend the night before
heading back to Bs As, and me to Purmamarca and then to Salta, as of
now´s plan.

Backdated from Friday, April 22, 2005 12:05pm (mined from paper journal.)

Bus through Iturbe from Humahuaca to Iruya, Jujuy/Salta, Argentina.

I am leaning on Natalia´s shoulder, not so much from fatigue as the
tall boy´s backpack, which has taken up the majority of my headspace.
My leg is stretched over my own bag - ¨por las dudas¨ as Argentines
are fond of saying. Just in case.

A subtle bitter-green flavour saturates my senses as I run my tongue
over the leaf folded between my cheek and my gums. I´ve become
surprisingly accustomed to the taste since Andres, our guide in
Tilcara, strongly recommended that we ¨cocaine¨ ourselves to avoid the
effects of the altitude as we hiked to about 2800m about sea level
into La Garganta de Diablo (the Throat of the Devil) and Las Cuevas de
Waira (the Caves of Waira). When in Jujuy...

This bumpy ride will have us peaking at El Abra de Condor, 4000m, the
border to the province of Salta. I´m grateful to have a seat at all.
Had we left Humauhaca any later, we wouldn´t be so lucky. There are
dozens of standing passengers filling the ailsles, some disembarking
at various points in the three hour journey, while others continue to
get on at random places on the highway.

The treacherous dirt road winds through some of the most diverse and
eye-catching territories in the region. Multicoloured mountains,
cliffs and other curious formations typical of the arid zone erupt
from shrubby meadows liberally peppered with rocks and cacti,
descending into rolling green valleys disected by river beds that
suddenly cut straight down through curvy scenery to hundreds of metres
of vertical drop.

A mother tries to balance her boys, both apparently still under two
years old, in front of her, trying to appease their cries for
attention with jello and orange slices. A slew of school children
boards and takes over any left over breathing room we hadn´t been
fully appreciating. A couple of them look down at the guide book on my
lap and start giggling, whispering loudly. The perception that I don´t
understand is obvious.

I surprise them by striking up a conversation in Spanish, and ask them
if they understand English. They giggle more. I pass them the book…

Backdated from Thursday, April 21, 2005 1am-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Inti Tampu Hospedaje, Tilcara, Jujuy, Argentina.

•p• Andres was waiting for me at the station in Tilcara, as arranged.
For some reason, he was expecting me to be blonder, and Swedish.

We went in his car almost straight to his family´s hospedaje, which he
had somehow failed to mention when he told me he could ¨arrange¨ cheap
accommodations, stopping only briefly at the tourism office, which he
suspiciously seemed not to want me to enter. $15 pesos for a room
with a shared washroom, $25 for a private baño, he quoted me… Fair
enough, but when I mentioned a hostel I´d heard about, thinking I
might prefer the ambience of a youth-filled hospice, he said ¨Malka?¨
and I conceded, to which he responded that it was very expensive, like
$60 pesos/night.

This set off my bulls••t detector, so as soon as I´d unloaded my bags
and made myself an avocado sandwich with the near-last of the
multi-flavoured mini-breads I´d bought in Jujuy, I vetoed the
directions I´d been given to the laguna and marched towards the
centro, and then hiked straight up to the Malka hostel, following the
clearly marked signs I saw soon after turning onto San Martin, one
block over.

The first guy I approached turned out not to be the dueño, but rather
a French tourist, one of a rather large group of francophones with
whom I soon found myself talking and drinking wine. However, I take at
least an hour of immersion when thinking in Español to regain any
level of French fluency, and my ¨frespanglish¨ was creating some
communications challenges with the mainly non-Spanish-speakers, which
combined with the sense of earlier deception to inspire loneliness for
the first time, really, since I´d been on the road.

In hopes of some sort of (homesickness?) remedy, I opted to follow a
single French traveller to a restaurant in the centre where she was
apparently meeting up with a single (French-)Canadian traveller for
dinner at the Sueñadoro(?). There were two other tables of mixed
foreigners and another two with Porteños (i.e., people from Buenos
Aires). In fact, the entire dining population must have been tourists
who came to hear the advertised folk music act, which didn´t end up
coming on until after we´d eaten. I left my e-mail with the
French-Canadian, who said she may have some translation work for me in
the future, and an American at the next table, who wasn´t sure of her
travel plans either.

By the time I got back to Inti Tampu, any thoughts I´d entertained of
moving to the hostel (which, I´d discovered, was charging between $14
and $20 pesos/person, not $60!!) was overshadowed by the awkwardness
of the social situation it would create, the promise of a better
excursion-filled next day, and an overwhelming fatigue.

Backdated from Wednesday, April 20, 2005 5pm-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Northbound on a Cotta Norte bus, Jujuy, Argentina (through Volcan?).

I left San Salvador de Jujuy an hour ago en route to meet Andres in
Tilcara. My window seat (13) was occupied when I boarded, but I can't
really complain on that account (it´s not like I´ve never initiated a
seat change), so I took the aisle (14). That didn´t last long,
though, since one of the many passengers the already slow bus stopped
to pick up was an old woman, who stood unsteadily in the aisle between
me and the man taking up two seats, one with his body and the other
occupied by a large box. The driver came over to check out the
situation, but the man showed his two ticket stubs, proving his
rightful entitlement waste a perfectly good window seat with his
cargo. I, on the other hand, couldn´t justify the señora´s being
made to endure the entire trip on her feet, so I gave up my own seat.
Of course, this meant I had to put up with standing uncomfortably for
over an hour, unable to write or take pictures, until a whole bunch of
people got off just now in Terminal Volcan, thus freeing up seats and
allowing me to finally get out my notebook.

I feel good about leaving Jujuy. It turns out that Jesica, Pamela´s
sister, gave birth last night in San Pedro (?), but the baby was
brought to Jujuy to be put on oxygen in the hospital because there
were complications in the extended labour (or so it was explained to
me).

The scenery has been pretty cool, green and hilly, although getting a
lot more deserty (i.e., great and other colours of rock the region is
famous for and cacti and sparse shrub) as we climb. It´s also getting
chilly – pause to grab fleece from bag – and I´m thinking I should
have put on my long johns. Seems a recurrent bus theme. Anyways,
that kind of change is out of the question now, given I´m only wearing
my short skirt above my repaired Gaia-green-rainbow-back pants, nicely
covering the eternally open fly, and I already felt conspicuous enough
standing up with peering men below. It´s the first time in Argentina
sensing my obvious tourist-ness.

The guy in Jujuy who stapled the pink paper labelled with a 24
surprised me by asking for moneda (change), to which I asked ¨para
que?¨ (¨what for?¨)… When he answered ¨para mi¨ (¨for me¨), which I
still didn´t quite register since no baggage handler to date has ever
asked for a tip, I somewhat reluctantly handed over a 50 centavos, not
sure whether I was being played but knowing either way I wouldn´t miss
a quarter when back in Canada.

Aside: The low clouds up the mountain look neat!!

The whole tipping norm issue is something I should explore further…
I´ve realised that tipping norms, which seem natural when you´re in
one place, are really very arbitrary – like what tasks do or don´t
require or deserve a (voluntary) tip. For example, tipping waiters or
bartenders in Canada or the States is an almost compulsory 10-20%,
whereas in Argentina, that kind of tip is considered obscenely high,
and in some places in Europe (I´ve heard) it is virtually unheard of.
Then, there are all the other customer service agents who do or don´t
expect tips depending on their location, even though their job and
level of expected service is the more or less the same (i.e., taxi
drivers, gas station attendant, retail clerks…). Then you implicate
the unofficial labour force, where there is no primary mandatory
payment (i.e., squeegee kids, door-shutters, car-watchers, etc.), and
it brings in a whole other element.

Backdated from Tuesday, April 19, 2005 11:45pm-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Pamela F's place, San Salvador de Jujuy, Argentina.

Just took a series of pics of Jairo (the adopted little brother)
watching TV in the corrugated-metal-roofed two-room house the three
siblings share. Pamela has apparently gone to the hospital to see her
sister – who is giving birth. She was gone when I got back from the
internet café on the corner.

Rewind (1pm-ish): It was a great surprise to have someone meet me at
the bus station – I really wasn't expecting it, and had sorta been
hoping to freshen myself up pre-contact, but when I saw a short-ish
(i.e., my height), young-ish (i.e., a few years my junior) girl,
looking around expectantly, my hopes that she was my Hospitality Club
host perked up and I met her unsure gaze. We cabbed it back here,
where I was introduced to the puppies and welcomed to the humble
amenities (i.e., the outdoor sink and non-auto-flush toilet housed in
a separate brick structure) and told the story of she and her two
siblings' randomly getting kicked out of the more posh house on the
property a few weeks back so that their dad, who is saving up money to
move in with his new wife and her family, could rent it out to his
boss as office space.

Needless to say, this abode is far less developed or 3rd world, so to
speak, than any other I've seen so far in this country, including
those we passed during our walk around the town (oops – city ;) I
keep slipping up on that, after being used to the bigger cities of
Buenos Aires and Rosario) this afternoon, post-siesta (another
novelty, typical of this region). The day heat is pretty impressive
here and I think, even from my limited sun-light exposure (all
post-4pm), my scalp is burned.

Anyways, I've made plans to head to Tilcara tomorrow night to go on an
excursion early Thursday morning with Andres S., another Hospitality
Clubber, who also happens to be a tour guide. He said he can't offer
me a free place to say, but can find me cheap accommodations, which
around here, according to Paula's regional tourism advice, should be
affordable enough.

There are interesting elements to being here, like the bombas de papa
(potato bombs, which are breaded, deep-fried sliced potatoes filled
with cheese and garden-fresh parsley) I got fed for lunch, along with
lemon and a salad, after I found out Pamela hadn't gotten or read the
P.D. in my last e-mail, noting my vegetarianism – and other cultural
observations, etc. – but I think that geographically/energetically I
am ready to move on. Oh yeah, there are also some really good bread
shops (I know, all I need after weeks of near carb overdose, right?)
and apparently decent crafts like wool (llama) and jewellery and clay
(which I won't let myself buy for fear of breakage) around, but I feel
nature calling – not in terms of needing a baño, but wanting to
reconnect.

Backdated from Tuesday, April 19, 2005 10am-ish (mined from paper journal.)

Still on the bus (through Rosario De La Frontera?).

¨Will you watch her?¨ The barely spoken implication as mama heads to
the lower level washroom.

Baby, alone across the aisle, almost immediately starts crying.

I, who during the 15 seconds of calm between these incidents could
think of no action more practical than pulling out my camera to snap a
shot of the cute unattended bundle of joy, am left unsure of what to
do next.

The effects of ¨shh, there, there¨ are intermittent at best.

Whimpers turn to wails. After about a minute, people are poking their
heads out of their seats, straining their eyes to the front of the bus
to lay guilt-tripping stares at the noisy culprit - or, rather, her
tender – me?? A man gestures that I should pick her up. Like, duh...

I am suddenly swept off into an awkward moment of hesitation, likely
the result of years of social-cultural conditioning of the Canadian
variety, which places heavy restrictions on the elsewhere simple act
of grabbing someone else's kid. The amplitude of continues to
increase, as I reason that, in this situation, permission is not a
factor in picking up and consoling the screaming blob across the
aisle. Luckily, at that instant, mama reappears, teet under shirt, to
save the day.

Backdated from Monday, April 18, 2005 22:22pm (mined from paper journal.)

Bus from Rosario, Santa Fe to Jujuy Capital, Argentina.

Another 15 or so hours to go in this bus. At least I've got a double seat...

Composing poetry of sorts in my head quite a bit these days. If it
can be called that. Perhaps travel quips/tips/thoughts would be more
apt. Oh! We're stopping! 30 min. of down (i.e., off the bus) time.
Write some quick:

Be advised in your travels:
many things drip.

Ceilings drip. Walls drip.

Taps not turned off in time drip.

Buckets drip. Bottles drip.

Loads of laundry on the line drip.

Noses drip. Eyes drip.

Shoes that slip on the mossy rocks drip.

Skinned goats drip. Happy groins drip.

Pants that dipped in the river drip.

Umbrellas drip. Birds drip.

Tents that were camped on a slope drip.

Headless hens drip. Crushed pens drip.

Ripe fruits you rip with your teeth drip.

Messy and wet and surprising, the drip.

My tip: don't let a drip ruin your trip.

It´s been too long since I´ve uploaded, so I´m going to try to send
some recent stories to my Updates and then backdate them... Let´s see
if this works!

um. so, i´m waiting in the rosario bus station. i really don´t love waiting in bus stations. or being in bus stations. or waiting. that´s litotes. on both counts. thanks for teaching me that word back in high school, mrs. diamond. it really doesn´t get enough play, compared to its big bully brother, hyperbole. yeah. can´t you just taste the restlessness??

my bus to jujuy leaves in half an hour. i swore i would find something more interesting/fulfilling/productive to do than enter the glassed in internet booth, but after about 10 minutes of wandering the shops, lugging both big backpacks (why don´t i ever take my own advice and pack light? not to mention what a bitch it´s gonna be when i get my red hot rolling back back from elena in la rioja), i decided that for one and a half pesos, it was worth the stagnant self-critical feeling to be in a non-smoking enclosure where i could put my bags down and distract myself. after all, i´ll have the next 18 hours to read my argentina guide and contemplate what i may have forgotten at romina´s place in my rushed exit as her room/classmate pressured her to get out already to their shared chemical engineering class. actually, all in all, the goodbye was pretty anticlimactic - rushed with romi, and non-existent with pablo (who was off in entre rios on business and wouldn´t be back until too late) and danilo (who wasn´t able to get permission for me to accompany him to the villa today and still wasn´t home from work when i called an hour ago).

okay, yuck. the internet cafe dueño just sprayed a whole bunch of room deodorant right towards me (and no, i am not having one of my hippier moments, thank you very much - in fact, today i not only showered, but also had my hair washed a second time at the hairdresser, where i went for an 8 peso trim) and i cannot breathe. must exit smoke-free, chemical-full air. is that some form of irony? alanis has corrupted my once textbook perfect understanding of that term... hasta luego!!

From the bank of the Rio Parana (or some manzanas away), I write a typical update that maintains my being too busy having experiences to write about them... I will (if all goes according to plan) soon(ish) be on an 18 hour bus ride to the Northwest of Argentina (Jujuy) with plans to slowly descend through Salta, Tucuman, La Rioja, and cross through Mendoza to Chile either by the first week of May or whichever week I change my plane ticket to.

Some quick notes: Elena accompanied me to the bus station Friday and waited there outside the bus waving and making faces at me until the bus left, a good 15 minutes after I was inside. I had upper deck seats at the very front of the bus, so I had a good view... It was a bit sad to be leaving, but I was ready to continue my explorations, and at least Ele and I will (again, if all goes according to plan) be reuniting in La Rioja in a couple/few weeks. I landed into Rosario, Santa Fe on Friday night, about 4 hours after departure, and, after waiting a good hour, was picked up by Pablo and Romina, whom I´d met at la cima (the summit) of Uritorco during my week in Cordoba. We went to pick up Danilo, the 3rd of the trio, at a friend´s place and inevitably got sucked into a half hour sit-down, and eventually made it back to Pablo´s place to dine around 1-2am. Then I had one of those ¨Whoops, did I forget to mention I was vegetarian?¨ moments. However, the potatoes and batatas (sweet potatoes) and salad were incredibly yummy ;)

I´m gonna run now and try to get some last minute menial chores (i.e., finding some food, making some necessary purchases and possibly even getting a hair cut and/or other such services performed upon me) but will leave some speaking/writing notes for later:

¨Red hot valija¨
¨Are your pants on fire?¨
¨Smoking (tobacco) Sucks¨(notice a motif?)
¨What the cat dragged in¨
¨Getting my hands on a guitar - Finally!!¨
¨Not more Pizza!!¨
¨Hospitality Club Correspondence¨
¨Villa development¨
¨Job Hunting on the Go¨

Do you ever get the urge to ask all the smokers in the room to kindly step outside until they´ve finished smoking? That´s how I was feeling last night at Sira, the club we were frequenting... I seem to be suffering from an on-off-on-off total congestion, and I´m not sure if it´s being caused by allergies or smog or what, but I´m hoping it stays as its current state of intermittent sniffles and sneezes. It makes me miss Canadian no-smoking-in-public-places laws and norms. (Btw, title from Portuguese song Ele keeps singing, spelling corrections appreciated!!)

Yesterday, Ele and I stayed in the city and went to Recoleta Cemetary (where all the people whose names name the street currently reside, as Ele puts it) and the artesania market outside it, then to el Caminito, a touristy area of Buenos Aires where the immigrants all first arrived and settled so many years ago. We walked through the colourful streets and some little shops and an artist´s studio and even got pulled into a tango dance in front of a restaurant (I´m still officially very, very bad!). We then went out to grab a bite and, after deciding that the first restaurant we went into seemed a bit sketchy (under the shared assumption that if the tables look dirty, the kitchen´s probably dirtier), settled on a cleaner place and ate lots of Ravioli. When I get home, I hope summer´s there so I can start biking around again - I´m gonna need a very active lifestyle to compensate for my nearly all-carb diet here!!

Ooh, we´re going to go now, more later!!

It´s been almost a week since I´ve been back in Buenos Aires, and I think I´ll be ready to hit the road again real soon. I´ve been staying with Ele and Marta and spending most of my time hanging out with one or both of them. A combination of stimulus overload/culture shock (after getting back to the city from the beautiful tranquility of Cordoba), cigarette smoke and general smog seems to be taking its toll on my system; I´m feeling tired/spacey a lot, especially during the early day, and basically dreaming away days that would better be spent exploring new and interesting places and getting trigger happy. At least I haven´t caught whatever bug´s been terrorizing Ele for the last few days (yet?!). She´s been waking up early to go to work, but Marta usually sleeps in late and awakens to turn on the TV, so I´ve been falling into that pattern with her. The death of the Pope (aka the Papa, homonymously the potato) is still a number one news story, but is starting to get ebbed out by other local and global disasters.

Last night Ele and I met Quentin at La Viruta Tango and I took my first class. Needless to say, I´m not very good, but neither were most of the other ¨principiantes,¨ and it was really fun anyways. I kept getting in trouble for not letting my partner lead me, since I remembered the steps and often my partners didn´t, but as our instructor kept stressing, Tango is a machista dance, and you´ve just gotta accept that. I´d love to learn with someone who actually knows what they´re doing, and is very very very patient....

Apparently the head instructor (there were about 8 of them, split off for different levels of instruction) is one of the best Tango dancers in Argentina, and was the one to teach Madonna for Evita. The place was surprisingly chill, with most people dressed relatively casually given the reputation Argentina, Buenos Aires and Tango collectively share for dressed-to-the-tees-ness. It was set up sorta like a community hall (actually, it is the basement of the Armenian Cultural centre, so that makes sense) with full bar and restaurant service, chairs and tables set up around the empty (crowded) dance space in the middle. With all the recent dance club fire phobia in BsAs, I know the set-up made Paula nervous when she and Ele went the last time, but I was more worried about not . Entrance, including the lesson, was 6 pesos (just under $3 Canadian) and a full 3-course vegetarian meal (I guess enough foreigners go to make it worthwhile to cater to our ¨special needs¨ - as evidenced by the amount of partners I had who spoke better English than Spanish) $11 pesos.

Ele will be getting off work soon and I think we´re gonna try to go to the hairdresser and while we´re there try to map out some escape route for me, looking into the possibilities of a pre-west weekend jaunt together to Uruguay and that of our meeting up for a weekend with Gaby and Chris, a couple we met in Cordoba, in... um... I forget what it´s called, but where Gabriel lives, closer to Chile. Chad, an American photographer I met up with for dinner a couple nights back, left me a guide book, so I now have hard-copy access to official tourist info, for better or worse. I also want to look into Hospitality Club hosts in the area, to see if I can have some experiences staying with locals during my voyage. So many places that would be awesome to see, so little time...

Another time I wanna write more about the unfairness of cost of living here, as per how easy it is for foreigners to come down here and live so well with the cost of our currency being worth so many Argentine pesos, while the labour situation down here sucks so much for locals. University-educated experienced employees here can earn less than $400 Canadian per month for full-time skilled labour, and the ¨black market¨ and ¨take-it-or-leave-it¨ attitudes are prolific, even in well known established organisations. For example, someone I know was recently given the "generous" offer of staying on at their current place of employment and working for less than half their normal salary (under $200 Canadian) if they want starting next month or not, but either way their options aren´t looking so good.

It makes me mad, and want to do something to help, but I don´t know what. Normally accepted standards like minimum wage and basic standard of living laws, not to mention Employment Insurance and Social Security nets like we have up north, seem like a joke or a fantasy here. I haven´t been doing much research into the current situation of the post-crisis takeovers of factories and businesses by workers (documented in ¨The Take¨ by Naomi Klein and Avi Lewis that aired on CBC the week I left Canada), but it seems the general labour situation isn´t exactly thriving.

Anyways, more thoughts later, for now gonna run back to the apartment and see what´s on tap for tonight! Che, I´m out!

To my friends up north,

Just wanted to say I´m thinking of y´all up there while having a total
blast down here. I was worried about fall cold, but so far the warmth
(arriving to 24 degree sun and that of the human variety) has blown me
away, as have some of the most amazing scenes and sceneries I´ve ever
been privy to (will share pictures when home with those interested).

In the past week, mostly spent in the province of Cordoba, I´ve
climbed hills and mountains, camped out (including a tent flood that
left me missing my MEC and Moss gear), swam in an icy waterfall-laden
rivers, danced in the street, met beautiful people, gotten ¨search and
rescued¨ after inadvisably watching the sunset while at the top of los
Terrones, eaten a lifetime´s worth of pasta and pizza, visited Che´s
childhood home (now a museum recounting his early years) and that of
composer Manuel de Falla (where they actually let me play the piano,
and I taught Heart and Soul to Elena and the tour guide, who also sang
Opera from Mme Butterfly for us on the balcony), drank many traigos of
yerba mate, eaten many Alfajores and other sweets, collected rocks
chock full of awesome energy and converted many of my ¨tu¨s to ¨vos¨es
and my ll pronounciations from ¨y¨ or ¨j¨ to ¨sh¨ :)

In terms of my real-world status, I´ve finished my contract for
Foreign Affairs Canada and am waiting to hear back from some of the
other opportunities I´ve applied for, so I may (hopefully) have job
news related to my moving on to a different continent in the next few
weeks. If not, if anyone has any tips (looking for communications,
capacity building and project management type jobs in international
sustainable development), please pass ´em on.

I´m gonna head back to Ele´s place now cuz she should be getting off
work (we actually came back earlier than planned from Cordoba so she
could deal with some stuff there) and we may go check out an event at
the Canadian Embassy (yay networking!)... Hope you are all doing
¨re-bien¨ and be in touch :)

Amor y abrazos desde Buenos Aires,
Cara

So, I go to check my gmail account an hour ago, and I get a big surprise. Given that my To Do List, electronic ticket, and Elena’s address are all there, this is a problem.
So, On Mon Mar 21 12:27 , I sent:
Hi! I have been using my gmail account normally but got the following message:
Our system indicates unusual usage of your account. In order to protect Gmail users from potentially harmful use of Gmail, this account has been disabled for up to 24 hours.
If you are using any third party software that interacts with your Gmail account, please disable it or adjust it so that its use complies with the Gmail Terms of Use. If you feel that you have been using your Gmail account according to the Terms of Use or otherwise normally, please contact us at gmail-lockdown@google.com to report this problem.

Please unlock it as I really really need to get in ASAP, and please let me know what I can do to prevent this from happening again!!

Thanks,
Cara

On Mon Mar 21 12:54 , 'Gmail Team' sent:
Hello,

Our system has detected unusual usage of your Gmail account. For your protection, we have temporarily disabled all access to your account.

If you suspect that the unusual usage of your account has been caused by a third party, we recommend that you change your password and secret question once you are able to log back in to Gmail. You should be able to access your account again within 24 hours.

If you are using any software that automatically logs in to your account, or automatically sends and receives messages, we ask that you disable the software before accessing Gmail again. Please note that the use of such third-party software is not supported by Gmail.

Sincerely,

The Gmail Team


On Mon Mar 21 13:27 , I sent:

Hi,

I don't use any such software. The only thing I can think of is having more than one gmail window open at once on my computer, or that another computer may have logged me in if someone there tried to access their gmail (I clicked the "remember my sign in for 2 weeks" option at a different computer than the one I am using now) - would that do it?

It's really crucial that I get into my gmail account ASAP as I am going to South America tomorrow and the address of my friend there is in my gmail account, as is my electronic ticket!!! I will have no access to e-mail between when I leave tomorrow and when I land in Buenos Aires on Wednesday, and need my friend's address to make it to her house.

Please, can you let me in earlier? I promise I am a real person and not doing anything sketchy with my account...

Thanks,
Cara

No time to write now, but wanted to update. Therefore, reappropriating e-mail excerpt. Hopefully I'll be having some good inspiration in weeks to come!

Hiya J,

How's it going? Sorry it's taken me so long to get back, but things have been nutty since I left New York. The day after I got back to Canada (Tuesday), I went up to Ottawa for an interview the following day (Wednesday). I was supposed to return to Toronto that evening, but missed the last train at 5:55pm, and there wasn't any way (i.e., bus or train - I thought of hitching but didn't feel like it!) to get back until the 12:30am bus the next day (Thursday), so that's what I took. Somewhere during this Ottawa fiasco, I got it in my head that I need to go to South America, so the day after I got back (Friday) I confirmed a ticket, and I leave this upcoming Tuesday. Crazy, huh?

I'll be flying into Buenos Aires, Argentina and flying out of Santiago, Chile. All I know is that I'm staying with my friend Elena in BA when I get there on Wednesday and the next night we leave for a 10-hour bus ride to Cordoba. We'll be there for a few days with some of her friends and then I suppose we'll head back to Buenos Aires. Th rest of my trip is very up in the air, although I imagine I'll spend a fair chunk of time with Elena in/around the city before heading west towards Chile, where I'll hopefully be able to connect with Rolando, my Guatemalteca friend who, last I heard, is living with his girlfriend in Valparaiso.

Anyways, I've got a whole bunch to do before I go, and am feeling a bit dizzy thinking of all the planning I haven't done and all the pieces of my life that are up in the air, many of which will be landing before I get back to North America. For example, there's a possibility that I'll land a job while I'm away, or that I'll miss out on a job opportunity while I'm away - I'm hoping for the former and trying not to think too much about the latter...

Hmmm, I have a couple friends coming over to collect their wedding present (they actually got married in June, so it's a bit over-due!), so I should sign off. But be in touch and let me know if you're ever in the same part of the globe as I am!! *HUGS* from Toronto!!!

Saludos,
Cara

Yesterday I met up with Antonio, a nice Brazilian forestry engineer I sat next to on my TO-NYC flight, and we walked through Central Park. It was an unbelievably summery day, especially given today's blustery weather, and I eventually stripped off all my layers (jacket, fleece poncho, sweater, long sleaved t-shirt) and ended up in my tank top. We even got to catch some of the famed gates that everyone's been talking about; I'm not sure I get all the hype, but at least I can say I got to go through them before they were taken down and recycled into the likes of pipes and carpet fluff (the "true story" according to the installment employee who overheard me quip to Antonio that maybe they could be used as curtains). Then we went to his Mom's place, where I got to do some stuff I needed to on Word and saw a first edition of Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass (Antonio's step-dad is an English professor at Colombia).

[Aside: That book seems to be following me around since I first made reference to it as a vanity press book in the "Writing For Publications" module for the Foreign Affairs Canada contract - first on Holly's book shelf, and then there. Perhaps the world is trying to tell me something... Like maybe I should read it?]

After she got off work, Holly and I got some groceries, stuffed some salady pitas, and ran off to Trash, a bar in Brooklyn where her co-worker Eugene was doing a comedy performance with his troup. There was an open bar during the show, and after losing a couple games of post-show pool I somehow got into a lengthy conversation with a Republican comic of parents in the ministry from Oklahoma (?) at the bar, who was apparently on David Letterman last year and kept plying me with more alcohol and assuring me that he wasn't hitting on me (even though he most definitely was). Needless to say I ended up drinking more than intended. The trip home was a challenge, and I'm ever grateful to Holly for taking such good care of me...

Today, slow start notwithstanding, I think I may head down to NYU to meet up with Moriah, a friend of Tiffany's who specialises in microenterprise stuff. Yay networking!

From Modern Orthodox Shabbat on Friday night to clubbing at Nation on Saturday night, it's been a diverse start to over a week in New York City. Today I stayed in at Holly's place on West 187 St. (Manhatten) while she went to work and got some of my own work done. Hopefully I'll be able to find a Word-equipped computer to send it off soon. This last module has been dragging on, and although I don't relish the idea of being without employment (again!), it'll be nice to know that this Foreign Affairs contract is a fait accompli and a job well done.

I'll be heading to Ottawa the day after I get back to TO. Let's hope something soon leads me to the next step on my path (lattice?). I'm feeling more optimistic about prospects these days, perhaps because winter is waning or maybe because interesting-sounding employers are starting to show interest. Oh, and NYC is warmer than TO, which is nice.

It's great to finally be in travel mode again, after over 8 months (!) in Canada, and over 7 in the GTA... Let this be a beginning, a re-birth of sorts :) Next stop ???

2005 Already? And 3 weeks into it? Where does the time go?

Well, mine's of late been spent overwhelmingly behind a computer screen, typing applications for possible future endeavours and doing research for this new Foreign Affairs Canada contract I'm starting.

That and being sick for the past week - I finally caught that nasty bug that's been circulating that places you firmly on your back for a full 24 hours and leaves you wallowing in the aftermath with your sinuses and lungs both full of yummy reminders... Just in time to enjoy some of the coldest kinds of cold (around -35 with wind chill factor Friday) along with a storm in store for later today (Saturday).

But winter in T dot isn't all that bad. New year's was wonderful. In fact, I hadn't even dared to try to manifest the night that eventually turned out to be exactly what I would have hoped for: good friends, good vibes, sacred space...

Since then, I've quite enjoyed being in my own space for the first time since Mexico. I've bee subletting a room in a house by Honest Ed's from a film student who's gone to the East Coast for a month, and next month I'll be subletting Yukkun's room at Halden & Gaja's place near Bathurst (Augusta) and Queen. So, that'll be 2 months of official, rent-paying, non-couch-surfing downtown Toronto living. Not that geography makes too much difference in these stay-inside-and-hibernate-cuz-it's-f-ing-freezing-out days, anyways ;)

We'll see what happens next, but I'm definitely still entertaining fantasies of the finish the Foreign Affairs Canada contract and take off for South America variety. I mean, -35 degrees?? That's close to where the F meets the C on the mercury metre...

Today I braved frostbite and went with Tiffany to a panel event at U of T's Munk Centre for International Studies about Dilemmas of Maintaining Equitable Development in the Global South. We stayed and talked with Judith Teichman, one of the presenters, for quite a while after the lecture. I'm seriously starting to consider returning to the academia for a post-grad degree, maybe in 2006-2007, but the disparity between academic theory and practical reality is something that's really hard to stomach at times. I mean, it's as if the passing mention or acknowledgement of some barrier is enough to justify simply ignoring it and moving on to the next point, when in the real world that obstacle is really enough to halt the whole process in the first place (i.e., the problem of dealing with corruption in Latin American governments when trying to move towards social democracy). Oh well, we'll cross that bridge... For now, to put on 3 layers of sweats and fleece and wool and go to sleep, lucky to have calefaccion.

It's just past the half-way mark of my 10-day gig living with Emma, the twelve-year-old black lab mix I'm taking care of for the holidays. Her family's visiting their family in the US, and I'm trying my best to subsitute the love and comfort the 6 of them generally provide her with. Unfortunately, given all the aggitated "What's that Lassie, Timmy's fallen down a well?" conversations she's tried to initiate, not to mention what appears to be her repeated searching (for them?) in such likely places as under beds and behind furniture, I don't think my walks/cuddles/singing/Spanish lessons/water&food-refilling/etc. are enough to prevent her from missing them lots.

On the other hand, I'm quite enjoying house-sitting. For the first time in months, i actually have my own space (okay, shared with Emma, but she's pretty nice company most of the time!), and lots of it. Not just space, either, but perks like a computer with internet access, a stocked fridge, a queen sized bed, a baby-grand piano, a land-line, and a DVD player. I really can't complain, except that next weekend I'll have to leave it all behind.

So far, the tentative January plan is to sublet a room in a house near Bathust and Bloor (conveniently enough, right by the Victory Cafe where I've been doing the odd spoken word performance!) and work my ass off on this Foreign Affairs contract. If I haven't found more work by the time I'm done, I'm thinking of taking off to South America or something. We'll see if the practice lives up to the theory, though...

Anyhow, I'm just getting in from celebrating in Kensington Market at the Festival of Lights and watching I Robot with Jennie, so I'm gonna go crash. It was awesome to bump into so many people I don't see enough of after the festivities dissipated, and made me miss summer/fall Drum Circles and regret the Canadian "necessity" of winter hibernation. Happy Solstice everyone :)

November Highlight: I turned 25 (Nov. 22)!
-Birthday weekend trip to Killaloe. Fresh air, wood oven heating, surrounded by trees (yum!). Used my Mexican license to rent a PT cruiser to get us up there (nepotistic connection to the guy at Budget).
-Returned Sunday night to dinner with fam and Em at Fressen (yum!) and a little partay at the Lippincott house with friends
-Spent my actual birthday making use of the last day of the extended weekend rental to drive with Michele to Niagra Falls. We only stayed about 15 minutes, though, so we could actually get the car returned. Pretty low-key night, drinks and cake at the Red Room.

December Highlight (so far): Finally landed some work in my field!
-Note: Have yet to sign (or see) the proposed contract, so maybe I shouldn't count chickens, but...
-I believe I'll be spending the former part of the new year developing modules for Foreign Affairs Canada's (formerly DFAIT) "Canadian Foreign Service Institute's Virtual Campus" :)
-Trying to remain optimistic, even though it's only short term contract, meaning I can't even take a break from the job hunt if I plan to remain employed - but at least it's related to something I'd like to work in long-term (i.e., Sustainable Development; capacity building, communications, project management, etc.).
-A foot in the door for future opportunities?

Halloween weekend, I became a cowgirl.

3 days, toe to head, of cowboy boots, a sombrero, and lots of neat touches in between... The red checked shirt, jean vest, lila's belt, a blond wig (Saturday on) and even a silver gun (given to me at Salem's loft - where, due to heat, I ended up in the corsette and bandana-around-neck as a top layer). Despite my overwhelmingly pacifistic orientation, damn there's some power to being able to stick a (toy) gun at someone! ("Power corrupts...") Oh, and playing with Nancy's cat woman whip was definitely fun - harkening back to those horse-training days at a black-light techno-beatin' party with superheros and fairies and other wacky characters was a bit surreal.

Last night, I finally went to perform at the Victory Cafe's poetry night. Dave and Em watched, and Cris did some of her own stuff. There's nothing quite like the rush of anticipating, performing, and coming down from the experience of standing before a room full of strangers armed only with your intimate words. I was nervous (it showed a bit, in voice, in stance). I grabbed Em's hand as we got to #4 (I was #5) and didn't let go until I went up. I guess practice will make that better... Although the adrenalin of nerves isn't really something I want to totally abolish - better for you than drugs, although possibly as addictive.

Right now, remembering the lake at Keji:

our bodies liberated
from the clothing that made them
invisible to nearby family-
rated beaches

it was necessary
to abuse our feet
of shoes and pound
over pebbles, rushing in
to water, naked, wading
painfully
quickly
submerged

city kids full on RV B-B-Qs rode past
on fancy bikes du(al)ly-suspensed
looked out toward us but saw only dark
shimmering reflections of sunlight and trees
two smiling faces, wet shiny hair
devoid of shampoo and less sterilised
parts hidden from view

you held my rest against
your chest pressed into my back
legs kicking rhythmically, strong
enough so i could let go
of the red buoy or
buoyancy itself

and you would keep me afloat
with your grace

amongst other things
unspoken
ungestured
understood that day

Two, within 14 hours. (Tuesday night & Wednesday afternoon)


1) After drum circle, Sumi, Chris, and I were hanging out in Sumi's kitchen. She turned on the light to get something from the cupboard, at which point I made some smart-ass remark about her destroying the ambience I'd created by "strategically placing candles around the room." Chris retorted that there were only two candles, to which I responded with a reference to a fairy tale in which the princes, in a competition to win the inheritance rights to their father's kingdom, each try to fill a room with limited resources. In the end, the youngest son, using only a candle, wins - by filling up the room entirely with light.

To qualify, this is a story I hadn't heard in ages, but felt was appropriate to recall at this moment. Sumi said I'd have to tell her the whole story, and I said something to the effect of "I don't know if I remember it well enough to tell it well, but I'm sure we can arrange something..."

We ended up getting comfy again, and I proposed calling the Toronto Public Library "Dial-A-Story" number (a free service that tells different stories in eight languages, with the option of selecting stories for "younger children" or "older children"). There was a bit of reluctance, since we had to wake up early the next morning, but eventually Sumi agreed, so long as we listened to the younger children designated (a.k.a. presumably shorter) story. Done deal.

It only took a few sentences to realise that the story that was being told, in a feminized version totally new to me, was in fact that very story of the candle-light - with princesses instead of the traditional princes and other minor variations. That, combined with virtually a whole night of basically chanelling non-verbal understandings with Sumi, was pretty mind-blowing.


2) Geoff R. offered to take me to lunch after massage class ended. I accepted, but when he told me where he was taking us, the same restaurant we'd frequented the previous time, I immediately started asking (very insistently) about other restaurants in the neighbourhood, as though I knew we had to have a contingency plan. When we arrived at the restaurant, a sign on the window told us of its having been shut down for "restructuring".


There has been a lot more synchronicity I've been experiencing over the last several months. Not sure if I'm becoming more psychic innately, or am just by circumstance more open to the possibilities, but it's a welcome phenomenon. Would like to develop/hone it more. Note to self: find copy of "The Psychic Pathway" or re-borrow it from Ayla!

Wednesday night I attended a "roast" in celebration of my father's retirement from the ER after 33 years. Almost the whole cast was there - it even sold out, so that supporting characters had to scramble to try to get tickets.

For 5 hours, I heard literally hundreds of people, most of them complete strangers to me, singing the praises of the man who, along with my mother, brought me into this world some quarter decade ago. And I mean PRAISE write large. I have never heard so many superlatives applied to one human being in apparent consensus by such a diverse (live) audience.

For example, here are some quotes:
"the most charming man i've ever met"
"as mellow when he worked as portrayed (in the skits) and so fun"
"kind, generous, sincere"
"laid-back, never phased by anything"
"compared to him, patch adams seems like the devil"

The funny thing is, I don't know this man. He is definitely not any father I ever met. It was almost surreal to watch them refering to this stranger (who incidentally looks just like my dad, shares his name, and was sitting at the table with me and the rest of my family) as this friendly, patient, massaging, caring, donut-bringing, never-get-upset, cheer-up-everyone-around-you type - the kind of person I would have loved to have had as a father, to have grown up around and be proud of. And, with all this anecdotal evidence, I am convinced that my father must, at times, have been this person.

But not any time I can recall, any place I can remember.

Somehow, on the long drive home, this magnificent, wonderful, compassionate doctor vanished, leaving behind a Type-A shell of a father, quick to anger and criticise, and definitely not abounding with infinite acceptance and love.

Anyways, I guess it's interesting to know where his positive energy was being spent all these years. Maybe now that he's retired, he'll spread the cheer a bit more liberally - at home.

So, I'll admit, when Chris R. woke me up for the second time (I'd gone back to sleep after Chris S. gave me the first wake-up call) with a proposal that I come out with him to Hamilton so, from there, we could get a ride to search for a Mexican worker in booneyville, I really just wanted to go back to sleep. A few hours later, after coming to my senses a bit more, I called back and agreed to tag along the Justicia mission as a translator.

At 4:15pm (post-physio), I made my way to the GO station. Chris met me in Hamilton (having taken an earlier bus from Missisauga) with Murray, our chauffeur, who works in the occupational health industry. [All relevant names (human and farm) from now on will be changed to protect the identities of those who could be royally $@#*ed over by that.]

We arrived at the FoodMart in _______(I am so bad with proper nouns. Will check with Chris on this later...) at around 8pm. Saw a group of Mexicans sitting outside the convenience/grocery store. I went over and addressed them in Spanish, explaining that we were looking for a worker from [Rich Green] farm. They said they didn't work there or know anyone who does. I approached several more men (surprisingly easily identified as Mexican by their appearance - in contrast to the stark whiteness of the majority of the "natives" of the town and the other migrant workers, Jamaican and Trinidadian, hanging about). After a while, we decided to give up, and try to visit the farm itself - a more risky move, since (*surprise surprise*) farm-owners often don't like it when grassroots justice-seeking types try to talk to their workers about their rights and related themes. A worker from a different farm waiting for the pay-phone sent us on our way with directions akin to "Go about 500 metres, then turn right, go about 300 metres, etc." Needless to say, people guestimate the size of a metre very differently from one another and we got lost.

Back-track/background: Our goal was to contact the cousin of a former migrant farmworker (currently dead - presumably - from pesticide exposure on the job). From the cousin, we were to obtain contact information for the deceased's brother, also a migrant farmworker. From the brother, the intent is to, some time in the near future, acquire forensic evidence and other helpful information for the legal aid lawyer lined up to take on the case. The objective: some kind of renumeration to the family of the victim, following a coroner's inquest and demands for workers' compensation.

So, anyways, back at the farm (which we finally found by following the truck of the "Family Restaurant" owner's son, who kindly volunteered to lead us there upon our wandering in, no questions asked), we knocked on the bunk house and were let in. We asked for [Ricardo Sanchez], and were invited in, out of the rain. He appeared, and I explained why we had come. He offered to call his family and find out his cousin's contact information, since he didn't have it on him.

Several botched cell phone/phone card combo call attempts later, we finally switched from Chris's phone to mine and Ricardo got through. We were then told he would have to wait 15 minutes, while a family member in Mexico biked over to his cousin's house to find out the information. Soon enough, we had the datos.

We were supposed to be stopping into another farm to look into the case of a Trinidadian worker who was supposed to get an important surgery a month ago, but was still waiting for the procedure - so there was a bit of a rush factor. However, as I was stepping away from the porch, Ricardo stopped me and said that he wanted to talk "con mas confienza" about some of the treatments the workers were being subjected to (i.e., in private, away from the others in the bunk). He started asking questions about, for instance, how to make the farmer follow the rules set out in the contract - like giving workers the option as to whether they wanted them to work well into the night and giving them breaks during which they could eat. I couldn't anwer the detailed legal questions, plus the cold rain was coming down heavier, so I invited him to join us in the car.

There we had a long-ish conversation (to be continued on another occasion, since we had to cut it short), where he outlined some of the medical and abuse of power issues that are present on the farm - and how the workers are too scared of losing their jobs to want to speak up. He explained that some of them are simply in bad financial situations and really need the money to support their families. Others are older and have worked their way up to the less demanding jobs; if these were to have to start over with a new employer, they would be "demoted" to more strenuous labour they couldn't handle.

Ricardo acknowledged his gratefulness at having been given the opportunity to work , and reiterated that he has no problem worker hard. However, he would like to create some changes. Despite his strong work ethic, he doesn't appreciate some of the underhanded tactics being employed by his boss. The farm owner capitalises on the vulnerability of the migrant workers by employing divide and conquer methodologies that don't allow for worker solidarity (i.e., rewarding those who work faster), forced overtime and overnight shifts in inclimate weather conditions, and neglecting his workers' medical care needs unless they are very severe or directly work related (for example, Ricardo suffers from gastritis, but has been told he can't eat until he is done his shift, which has exacerbated the problem to the point he is considering not returning next year).

Ricardo is concerned for other workers because he is young and strong and himself has been so affected. He says if someone in his condition is being harmed, he knows that many more are worse off.

It's been a while since I've reported on the day-to-day. About time.

----------------
So, Tuesday evening I get a call from Rob. I can tell he's really off. Not too much longer, the reason:

"I don't quite know how to say this. I've never had to tell anyone this before."

I know it's bad.

"My dad's dead."

Wow. I tell him to call me if he needs anything. He's at Sandra's. Can't be on the phone. I let him go, but call back when I get to Anita's.

"I just borrowed a bike. If you need anything, or want me around, I can be there in 15 minutes, just call."

He doesn't call back right away, so I go into go into a movie at the Bloor with Anita, keeping my phone on vibrate - just in case. It vibrates 10 minutes into the film, and I run into the lobby, and it's Rob, and after a few seconds of hesitation/deliberation, I dismiss any thoughts of staying and zoom down Markham street. The next hours are passed in some combination of attempts to be the best friend the situation (we being a bit of an odd trio: crestfallen Rob and his current lover/partner/applylabelhere and me) calls for. Meaning maker of tea, offerer of words/hugs/energy/comfortable silence, etc.

It was a wreck diving accident, what was to be the last dive of the season. Rob Sr. was 51. Fucked up. (http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&call_pageid=971358637177&c=Article&cid=1097531409090)

As Rob says, though, "How many people get to die doing the thing they love most?"

----------------

In general, people keep asking what I am doing, given the whole not gainfully employed situation. Funny thing is, I don't have a standard answer I can give, beyond:

1) "attempt to find work" - which includes
*hours in front of the computer trying not to get distracted with MSN and to focus on searching and applying for actual positions
*getting out for good ol' fashioned in-person networking
*the occasional interview
*volunteering (not always self-interested, but these days, there's always the hope it may, directly or indirectly, lead to something...)

2) "hang out with people" - which includes
*chilling/cooking/making music/creating/participating in passive entertainment with friends
*attending drum circles
*frequent downtown sleep-overs (so as not to have to trek back up to North York)
*random outings/events like the Harvest Festival or "Art Day/Night at Oriel's place or last minute escapes to Em's cottage or last night's opening of the Faces exhibit for ARCfest Human Rights Festival - which, even though Geoff forgot to put me on the credit list, I did PA for - see http://www.arcfest.org/)
*family time (especially with my grandmother, whom I am trying to see more of)
*religious gatherings (e.g., high holiday services at Holy Blossom for the first time in like a decade, a late night/early morning post-Trinity-Bellwoods somewhat illegal Sukkah experience behind the Synagogue on St. Andrew St. in Kensington Market, and a "sight-seeing" trip with Kevin to "Catch the Fire" at the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship, apparently one of the most famous churches in the world, and definitely a close second to San Juan Chamula in Chiapas, Mexico for crazy quasi-Jesus-related experiences.)
*etc. etc.

Today (or, given the post-midnight timing, yesterday) I went to the HRDC building to check out any assistance they might be able to offer should I decide to forget the whole employment thing and become my own boss. You know, self-employment. As in, everyone who contracts you (i.e., potentially anybody) is your boss. Anyways, they are on strike.

Tomorrow (or later today, whichever) I plan to meet with an ex-employer, who not only happens to really like me, but has also been implying there may be work opportunities for me on the horizon. We will see...

On that note, must sleep now, or I will miss the aforementionned meeting. 'Night.

To Whom It May Concern: (Alternately addressed "Dear Sir or Madam:")

Please allow me to present
A skilled enthusiastic detail-driven worker heaven-sent
Plays nice with others on the team and willingly stays late
And (of course beyond the customary) won't exaggerate
Plus she'll smile and gladly do the jobs that other people hate

You can stick her on a podium, shove cameras in her face
Sit her down before a monitor or dress her up in lace
Knows her way around a meeting conference luncheon boardroom plane
Can converse in French and Spanish on themes bordering inane
And (during working hours) won't appear the least insane

Her goal's to work with absolute professional devotion
At world-saving or at least to do her part in the promotion of
Sustainable development, the buzz word cum solution to
Environment, human rights, health, economic distribution
Issues toward which her intention is a tangible contribution

She is actively pursuing that elusive great position
Fitting to her disposition and her longer-term ambition
Even though this new arrangement may be different from before
She hopes you'll have the bravery to gamble and explore
The value-added presence she brings to the meta-f(lo)or

If you're seeking education in the formal sense it's there
From an institute of learning high on ivory tower air
Liberal Arts Certificate, Honours (First Class) B of A
Final Transcript 3.96 - fairly decent GPA
If you care to note that rounding it becomes a perfect A

But theories and textbooks aren't the highlights of this show
More than a decade's bread-win toil amounts to quite the folio (including
Retail Teaching Volunteering Corporate-execu-wheeling-dealing
Academia Non-profit United Nations and Touch healing)
Forward thinking, international momentum she is feeling

She fulfills the base requirements listed clearly you can see
For more details take a gander at her explicit CV (attached)
Should these heady rhymes succeed in style or content to enthrall
Contact information follows; please don't hesitate to call for
References, an interview or anything at all

Anyway, suffice to say
If you'd like to make her day
Make an offer of employment
Assuring your complete enjoyment
Ready now for quick deployment...

Yours most truly,
She


[Optional P.S.

If you, the HR guru and/or hiring committee
Hearing out this little ditty
Thinks it at all cute or witty
Give it credit, not your pity

(I.e., benefits and pay
And have a lovely day!)

Thank you for your time;
You're welcome for the rhyme.

It's been fun to apply -
I await your kind reply.]

To Whom It May Concern:

Please allow me to present
A skilled enthusiastic detail-driven worker heaven-sent
Plays nice with other peons and never shows up late
And (of course beyond the customary) won’t exaggerate
Plus she’ll smile and gladly do the jobs that other people hate

You can stick her on a podium, shove cameras in her face
Sit her down before a monitor or dress her up in lace
Knows her way around a meeting conference luncheon boardroom plane
Can converse in French and Spanish on themes bordering inane
And (during working hours) won’t appear the least insane

If you’re seeking education in the formal sense it’s there
From an institute of learning high in ivory tower air
Liberal Arts Certificate, Honours (First Class) B of A
Final Transcript 3.96 – fairly decent GPA
If you care to note that rounding it becomes a perfect A

But theories and textbooks aren’t the highlights of this show
More than a decade’s bread-win toil amounts to quite the folio
Retail Teaching Volunteering Corporate-execu-wheeling-dealing
Academia Non-profit United Nations and Touch healing
So you can probably imagine how sans job she has been feeling

Anyway, suffice to say
If you’d like to make her day
Make an offer of employment
Assuring your complete enjoyment
Ready now for quick deployment…

Yours most truly,
She




Dear Manager X,

I’m excited to apply for the post that you are posting
Fits my ideal description of a job I’d like to do
Here let me convince you of my assets without boasting
Or revealing desperation (as time passes I’m more prone to)

My goal's to work with absolute professional devotion
At world-saving or at least to do my part in the promotion of
Sustainable development, the buzz word cum solution to
Issues of environment, human rights, and economic distribution

I fulfill all your requirements listed clearly you can see
For more details take a gander at my explicit CV (attached)
I am leaving contact info; please don’t hesitate to call for
References, an interview or anything at all

In conclusion, dearest Manager,
I'm excited to apply
For the post that you are posting
And await your kind reply.

Sincerely,
May
the best candidate
win



Attention: Hiring Committee

What a rocky road it’s been!
I wonder if this application by a human shall be seen
Likely instead it will be sucked into black hole cyberspace
Key-word screen pre-considered, compu-filtered, and erased

Am I wrong to keep on looking for the ultimate position
Fitting to my disposition and my longer-term ambition?
Endless searching takes its toll upon my mind, upon my soul
And the process comes replete with total absence of control

I may not have done this job before but even so you might explore
The value I bear nonetheless I’ve heard I am among the best
My skills will transfer, this I swear, and I won’t long stay unaware
Of just what I need to do to succeed in my work for you

So, please if you’re a real committee
Hearing out my little ditty
And you think me at all witty
Give me some credit, not your pity

And offer me a job.

Thank you for your time.
You’re welcome for the rhyme.

Signed,
Honestly

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1096452771800&call_pageid=968332188492&col=968705899037&tacodalogin=no

401 back to normal after day of bottlenecks
Driver of truck carrying garbage reportedly facing charge of careless driving


CURTIS RUSH
STAFF REPORTER THESTAR.COM

The westbound express lanes of Highway 401 at Yonge Street were reopened about 5:30 this afternoon after a day of bottlenecks and confusion caused by a crash involving two transport trucks early this morning. Meantime, Ontario Environment Minister Leona Dombrowsky says she is concerned that truck drivers hauling garbage to Michigan may be working longer hours than they should and she wants to discuss the situation with Transportation Minister Harinder Takhar.
Driver fatigue is being blamed for the fiery collision on Highway 401 at 3:30 a.m. today that caused commuter chaos all day long.

The truck driver carrying the garbage westbound has been charged with careless driving and failing to wear a seat belt following the collision with a paint truck that shut down the highway at Yonge St. for most of the day.

The charges - were little comfort for the thousands of commuters who showed up late for work this morning.

Dombrowski said today that "we want to make sure that those regulations are being adhered to and there is monitoring to ensure that the risk of this kind of event is minimized" with respect to drivers not working while fatigued, radio station CFRB reported.

It was the paint, mixed with diesel fuel, that set off the fiery explosion in which flames were sent 30 metres into the sky. The fire burned for about two hours.

The salvage operation was made more difficult by the fact that the area was already a construction zone in the westbound lanes and the accident happened on a bridge, about 70 metres above the Don River Valley.

let’s start a solution
to this global pollution
self-absolution mate/
realistic evolution
egotistic revolution
artistic devolution
kinetic convolution
transnational collusion
of the governors behind
accepting cash and in-kind
contributions to silence
the insurgence of the mind

fight the power, fight fight
the power’s

trading gates for barbed wire
windows barred by the desire
to keep flying higher
hooked on oil the whole empire
shoots up to the quagmire
endless rounds, they never tire
of trying to acquire
good returns on the ire
of those they don’t admire
they’re not shy to inspire
you
can
call me a liar

for speaking the truth
you may think me uncouth
but these rhymes are pure sooth
if tainted by my youth
bequeathed tones of Ruth
the ever-so-slightest hint of vermouth
I stand behind word
even the most absurd
because just like a flipped bird
it means when it’s been heard

if pen’s to be might
it’s got to be held right
with the biggest intention
local-galactic intervention
the goal’s not to barge
but synthesize the charge
towards the retention
of polity writ large

a-litera-tion optation
for every generation
fed play by play-station
on a billion flat panels
nine hundred exact same channels
home-spun indoctrination
designed to curb sensation
diffusing aggravation
sending rage waves through a nation
hell-bent on obliteration
now set free on probation
and the unchecked pervasion
of in-group masturbation
oops
was that a meta-euphoric aberration?

i refer to consummation
as a collaborative creation
would you tune in to rev/
elation
give up closed-eyed vacation
regard the implication
of your stake in the desecration
peer into burning bushes
with your arms and your tush/es
on the line?

if so, it’s time, to
see
that you can
be
it you can
be it
you can be
it you can be it
you can
bow to it, be it
you can bow
to the power of
We

Ah, in so many ways.

It's already September 10th. Wow.

Wow because that means that the fall is almost here.

Meaning my self-imposed deadline of finding meaningful work, preferably in a warmer climate, is about to come up, and I haven't seen too much progress on that front.

And the winter's-coming-bite is starting to enter the newly gusting wind, even though I'm still waiting for "real summer" to arrive (naive optimism??).

And Wow that it's been almost exactly one year since I was originally booked to fly to Mexico to start my contract at UNEP-ROLAC (September 11, 2003). And that it's been just under three years since I had the interview that landed me my first post-university full-time job at Credential Group (owner of "Ethical Funds" TM) in the “Strategy & Business Development” department doing crazy corporate communications and coordinating projects with people dressed in suits and other fancy stuff I never pictured myself doing (job started September 24, 2001). And just over seven years since, never having been west of Ontario, I took my precious savings and all my highest expectations and "ran away" to start a new life living on a mountain by the sea (and attending Simon Fraser University)...

So, late summer/early fall times, in retrospect, seem to have been pretty significant for me. And, in some way, I feel, hope, that this one could take some turn and surprise me. Or maybe, the path I've been meandering will lead to something unexpected, undirected, and yet right.

Since I went on "update strike," in addition to sending out hoards of "formal" job applications, I've also been pursuing less traditional possibilities - like that of working with some friends/acquaintances "in the biz" in trying to put together a documentary on natural resource issues. (No details yet, cuz it's too soon, and I'm not sure, and initial research was promising, to the point of my almost having a full documentary scripted, and then I found an almost identical one's just been screened.) I've already been out to help Mez shoot his unrelated documentary on the garbage can ads, and it's been really neat - it would just be a matter of collaborating on this new project, getting the research and contacts taken care of, and applying for grants (not necessarily so easy or in that order - after all, what do I know about making movies, aside from my running my OAC media class project back in 1997?).

Of course, the fact that there is no guaranteed funding, and that I'm a bit nervous about entering a totally new realm (as much as I've always had a thing for media), makes it all a bit sketchy - and exciting, too. And yet, the nervous, more conservative part of me hopes that my knight in shining armour (aka a job offer) will gallop in and scoop me up from the tower of my parents' castle (ok, house) in a far-off isolated land (North York) and take me somewhere new and exotic, where negative temperatures don't exist and there is a dental plan.

I've also been thinking of getting into Spoken Word. Like actually performing. In fact, I may venture out tomorrow night - Lisa "Luscious" Tai will be performing at the Rustic Cosmo, 1278 Queen Street West, and invited me since apparently there's an open mic component. Rob, whom I saw tonight for the first time since he took off after Om, is coincidentally also thinking of "reading" – he timidly showed me some of his stuff, for the first time, and I think he’s got amazing potential.

Anyways, we'll see what happens. For now, seems I'm back to old habits (one of the reasons for the strike).

Already 5:20am. Wow.

Time for bed!

I have taken these last weeks to not update. Perhaps this will change now.

Justifications for being online are suddenly seeming just that.

I really don't like the amount of time I've been spending in front of the computer. Damn chat services, and the faraway friends I miss so much who use them!

If only it wasn't so necessary for job-hunting, I think I'd be able to quit cold turkey.

But, for now, must use will power. "Appear Offline..."

Been doing a lot of thinking about how conflicted seem to be my desires/directions at this point in my life...

On the one hand, I relish the idea of community, of engaging in on-going projects and building up long-term relationships with people I can keep in my life and watch grow (and vice versa).

On the other hand, I am conducting an almost exclusively international job search which, if successful, will land me in another country where I'll have to start from scratch and will be unlikely to stay forever. And I'm pretty sure this is what I want for now.

I wish there were a way to combine the two...

The three things I would have missed most, had I not been lucky enough to have had David (a wonderful, honest soul) be the one to find my purse and return it intact:

1) Cell phone (only personal real-time means of communication these days. also, officially, belonging to my grandmother.)

2) Camera (not to mention the financial loss, I've grown accustomed to being able to capture digital freeze-frames at my whim.)

3) Writer's notebook (been keeping the same one, in my signature microscopic printing, since 2002. 'nuff said?)

Big phew. And thank-you. To those who helped in the search & rescue, and those who otherwise made my Harbourfront to Cherry Beach evening so grand.

Toronto is full of lovely people.

http://magazine.takingitglobal.org/

That's where you can go to dowload "Issue 0" of TIG Magazine. For those interested, my contribution can be found on page 7. Thanks for including me, Amy et al.!


More info (copied directly from http://magazine.takingitglobal.org/):

TIG Magazine is about making form from shapeless emotion. TIG Magazine is about the convergence of the power of images and the strength of words. TIG Magazine is a journey not a destination. TIG Magazine is made by different people from different places. TIG Magazine is the experience and story of these different people. TIG Magazine is a real, living space. If you touch it you can feel it pulse.

electricities, an issue of TIG Magazine, is a compendium of the best in artwork and creative writing from TakingITGlobal’s online community initiatives, the Global Gallery and Panorama Online Publication. All the artwork, writing, design, and thought in this creation have been conceived by young people. Through this creative magazine and the year-long multimedia program Intersections, we hope to be an incubator for fine, fresh, young talent worldwide.

electricities is a city we dreamt. A timeless dream that reveals all dreams. Freezing the collisions. Time put on pause giving the time to observe the dream. A pleasant nightmare. electricities is a creative magazine.


Download the magazine for free (PDF format, 2.2 MB)
Purchase a printed copy for $3 US! (shipping starting August 1st, income to cover production costs of the magazine)

For more information on advertising and distribution, contact alberto@takingitglobal.org

Just home from the culmination at Mad Monty's.

Over 12 hours of weddinging (ceremony, reception & after-party) is tiring...

Congrats you guys, you were/'re both lovely :)

Sleep now, other stuff later.

I told you I'd write up the rest of the now-complete (for this round, anyhow) no-plan journey. Not now, but will try to return and do it later :)

Yep, bridges and water. Sounds about right. Good description.

We got here with about 2 hours on public transit just getting to the edge of town, then far less time with a couple rides (a car and a pick-up), and Dave and his dad (also David S., but we'll call him Stan) came to pick us up at the Irving.

Today we woke up late-morning and went on a nature walk along the river. I'm now realizing how hungry I am, and so will sign off and go in search of: 1) somewhere I can upload my pictures to CD (the library has no burners available and I'm pretty much out of space) and 2) Em and Dave and food (they went home while I went off on my mission to do the former).

we are on our way today.

last night, our "extra" here, culminated in a somewhat spontaneous ritual on angela's living room floor, with herbal brew and belongings (ours and tooker's) and elements invoked, magically transforming and manifesting the energies that had been building. we read passages from the pagan book of life and death, and shared meditations, and honoured tooker's presence and passing and one another, and afterwards, when the circle was broken, feasted on chocolate chips and walnuts. it was a beautiful way to end our stay here.

we haven't managed to come through with a ride to bridgewater, or out of halifax for that matter, so soon it seems we will, once again, be hitting the highway (if we can figure out how to get there).

check in with yous later ;)

For anyone in the Halifax area, we're going to be on Angela's radio show on CRDU (I think) around 5-6pm (maritime time) talking about the environmental implications of hitch-hiking as a transportation alternative. Check us out :)

It's raining now and the water is covered in a deep fog as Em and I sit around Angela's living room, reading and stretching and otherwise stalling on starting the day (i.e., leaving the warmth and dryness of the apartment). The balcony door is open and the view I am facing is spectacular: overlooking the water and Halifax ahead and just to the right, the bridge. The one Tooker jumped from months ago.

Yesterday, on our trek down to water the trees she had planted in his honour along the beach, Ange commented on the possibility that one day his body could wash up and she could be the one to find it. She doesn't think the Cosmos could be that twisted, and therefore considers the chances it will happen pretty slim.

We then wandered along the shore and the three of us ended up stripping off tops and meditating on the rocks there. Something about being semi-naked basking spiritually in the sun... So sacred.

Being here, I can feel Tooker's presence - it is so obvious, so everywhere. I wrote yesterday to him in my paper journal "By the time I started getting to know /you/ were already dead, yet more alive somehow still than most will ever be."

There has been talk too of possibilities of an afterlife, and receiving signs, and other such things. Life always goes on - but it is interesting to see. Both sad and inspiring.

Em and I will probably be on our way tomorrow. Maybe to Bridgewater to say hello to Dave. Or maybe not. We will see. But we have, upon today's geographical check-in, agreed this seems like a buffer day - of relative nothingness or fare-welling, preceeding a new launch.

That's where we're at right now...

Yesterday, Em's birthday, we transitioned from PEI to here with an unexpected pit-stop to swim in a lake quite off our route but to which we were taken by our middle ride, Joey (between the backpacker van tour and the back of the pick-up truck, which together comprised our methods of tranport). Arrived at Angela's, where I put together the Dollarama supplies I'd sneak-purchased and Em blew out her 20-odd candles from 5 snack-cakes and I blew up a confetti bomb.

Today was Halifax Pride Day - very low key compared to Toronto, but nice. Cute. I feel patronizing, but still, when a province has less citizens then our city's parade, there's just a difference!

Oh, being beckoned. Later!

(One of the epiphanies reached during our hilly bike ride to Argyle Shore Provincial Park yesterday. What were you thinking ;) ?)

Confederation Centre Public Library, Charlottetown, PEI (AKA Free Internet :)):

Eating whole foods and breathing tree-y air sure don't hurt the soul... And fully enjoying the talks of politics and other interesting stuff that are almost rote in the tri-lingual farmhouse. In a good way. Like rot-ary. Or rot-i...

Turns out Peter used to live with Tooker, and so we surprised Angela by putting him on the phone during our call last night to verify our impending visit to Halifax. If all goes according to the current "non-plan" then tomorrow we head that-a-way, on Emily's 25th birthday (hint hint, those who know her, write her!!).

Oh yeah, today we raised some heck during "Les Feux Follets," a free youth production on the text-book "history" of Canada, replete with an opening scene of indiginous folks (none of which seemed acted by anyone descending from that heritage, not to mention only one actor of colour in the cast) who in the next song take off their masks and are suddenly all Irish settlers or something, along with tunes like "... dark forests too still to be real..." (with regard to pre-settlement days, no mention of the slaughter at transition)) and "...but time has no beginning and history has no bounds" (during this gloss-over link part). When the dude came on at the end to ask "How id everybody feeling today?" Em answered, sorta quietly, "Offended" at which point the director, Jim White, who had been sitting behind us, tapped her and, upon verifying that she had indeed said what he had thought she had said, himself said he would like to speak with her afterwards. We were then wisked away to the back chambers of the Confederation Centre of the Arts, where we proceeded to discuss with him and Anne Allan, the artistic director, our particular critiques. They invited us to write them out to be further considered. Maybe we will (X2).

We next visited the 1833-34-built "Government House", where we got the tour and learned some interesting tidbits. Like, apparently, Adrienne Clarkson had to jump up onto her bed when she stayed there cuz she's really short and the step was off being fixed. And that the toilet off of the Queen's bedroom has two holes so as to flush more quietly so as not to disgrace the queen with the loudness of her disappearing waste. And that the government officials who built the house used wardrobes instead of closets so as not to get taxed more (or fairly - it's a loophole, since closets counted as rooms for taxing purposes).

Hmmm... Back on the road means more convincing motorists of the wonderful passengership we have to offer. Not a complaint yet - but sorta been enjoying the laziness of being a bit more stationary/settled.

But 'tis time to move on. I have the refrain from Barrett's Privateers ("Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier / The last of Barrett's Privateers.") stuck in my head for a couple days now.

P.S. One thing that totally kicks ass about this province is that they go all out in separating their garbage. It's actually _illegal_ not to recycle the recyclables or compost the compostables!!

We made it to the ocean! The Atlantic! It's hard to believe that everything is working out perfectly according to non-plan...

No time to write and internet real sketchy, but let's just say Em and I are pretty blissed out on a little organic vegan-eatin' farm on the littlest province in our beautiful country. Today we got put to work trimming garlic... um... scapes (??) and then biked to ___(wow, memory failing), a lovely clay beach several hilly roads away.

It took a mini-van, a car, and three trucks to get us here, and it was completely worth the all-night wait in the truck stop...

Great gratitude extended to those who have helped us on our way so far, including but not exclusively: Ayla (ride Toronto to Killaloe), Whitney & Steven (ride to Pembroke), Pete (ride to Ottawa), Stephane (ride to Montreal), Anthony (ride to Cap-de-la-Madeleine, where we tented behind his truck beside the parking lot, and then to PEI), and last but not least Evelyn, Sol, Peter & Margarita(our amazing hosts here)!

Sending much love and light and will try to update more soon. Probably heading into Nova Scotia on Friday, Em's 25th b-day :)

So far, I've tried to explain the meaning of this word to at least two Spanish-speakers tonight. As in, I really should be packing for the trip I'm starting tomorrow (today!) morning, but instead I am _procrastinating_ by chatting with you.

Verdict (supplied by Erika after some difficulty with online translators - which are quite off in supplying "delay") - Procrastinating, a la Mexicana, is Haciendo "wey" (wey being the msn-ed down version of the already slang guey!)

I am definitely still procrastinating - writing updates about procrastinating must make some "best of" list somewhere - 3:30am and still not packed.

I'd say inability to pack/organise unless under great pressure would be my fatal flaw, in the Shakespearian sense, if such a thing could be lethal.

Ah, procrastinatory silly hour speculation. Must stop it now. Got a big day/week/rest of July ahead of me :)

Plan: Em and I get ride to festival with Ayla around 10am. Head east. Back in time for me to attend Josh & Adrienne's wedding July 31st. Have a blast. Learn, grow, sleep occasionally. Eat. Get along. Bond. Sing. Celebrate Em's birthday and July 25th (something about a reclaimed Mayan calendar). Keep up the job hunt remotely. (I expect that last part will be the only real challenge.)

Goodbye Toronto! I actually think I may miss you...

Ah, the Maritimes.

I've always wanted to check them out, but the closest I've come to date was my application to Dal back in 1997. When I opted for SFU instead, that pretty much dictated the direction of most of my subsequent Canadian journeys (West!). But now, all that's about to change!

What started as some casual ideas dropped in e-mails between Em and myself while I was in Mexico seems to be solidifying quite nicely. We even have a tentative leave date. Friday. Yes, that's in 2 days... And no, we aren't ready (i.e., packed or prepared) in any real way. But isn't that the best way ;) ?

The quasi-plan: volunteer at the MORNING STAR FESTIVAL July 9-11 in KILLALOE (Northern Ontario). From there, hopefully catch a ride with some returning partiers heading east-wardly home. If not, get to the highway and start hitching.

We have a few contacts along the way, great smiles, and a song book to keep us happy on the road. The rest of the adventure has yet to be created...

By the way, if anyone knows anyone cool in Quebec or the Maritimes who might be interested in meeting up along our journey and/or possibly offering up a rain shelter or meal, please let me know!

This afternoon I helped facilitate a "Culture and Expectations" workshop for the brand new youth participants in the WYC's pilot project (http://www.worldyouthcentre.com/). As much as I was pretty exhausted from last-minute preparations, it was fun, and we got nice feedback to boot.

It seems like these guys are going to have an enriching, amazing, dense learning and sharing experience over the next month. I'm really excited for them and the project, and hope it works out long-term. It has such great potential...

Meanwhile, nothing seems to be turning up so far in the job hunt. I keep looking for appropriate positions, and writing the occasional application when something turns up, and then... [Yeah, that's about it.]

I'm thinking my default plan of travelling out east (maritime-bound) with Emily at the end of this week, while keeping up the virtual search, is likely to pan out, since chances seem dismal I'll get any offers before the weekend.

I'm chatting with Elena in Argentina (the lovely GEO Juvenil co-ordinator there) right now, and we're trying to make plans for our collective futures. We're both going through similar situations with regard to thoughts on careers, loves, life plans, etc., and have made a pact to keep ourselves motivated. And maybe to do some of this life-journeying together, if we can find a way to co-ordinate the geography. Hope we stick to it :)

Stayed up all last night with Mez chatting and then watching a not-quite-final version of "The Take," the yet unreleased documentary by Naomi Klein and Avi Lewis. Mez, a friend of Naomi and Avi's, actually worked with them on the film in Argentina for 6 months, so I got lots of behind-the-scenes commentary and context. Official info on the film can be found at http://www.nfb.ca/thetake/.

Canada Day turned out less green than I had planned, what with Adam sleeping through his parents' ride to the farm. Instead, I ended up spending the afternoon with Stacey, my visiting cousin who now lives and teaches kindergarten in Texas, and other family members.

Later, I met up with Adam for some mushroom/pasta and attempts to watch fireworks from his 20th floor Bloor-Spadina apartment. When that didn't turn out too successful, we tried to make it to the Cherry Beach party. Getting off at Pape Station, though, we were in for an interesting twist; Greek flags and unmoving traffic and honking and celebrating in true Greek-Canadian style... The TTC dude basically laughed at us when we asked how long the bus to Cherry Beach would take. So we walked. All the way. It's a long way...

Got there for the skeletal remains of what might have been a good party earlier, so we just went off to the beach and sat and revelled in the view of the lake and the clouds dancing against the near-full moon-clear sky...

I just got invited to Adam's grandparent's farm with his family to spend the day in green-ness!! YAY!

Must sleep, we leave early...

Not much I didn't already know, although funny enough at parts and a few interesting surprises - like the CD player hookups in American tankers and the part about Bush's whereabouts and immediate reaction to the news of the plane crashes.

I think it's work seeing this movie, even if you're already be familiar with most of the contents...

Better yet, if this is the case, take your parents. Take your grandparents. Your little brothers and sisters, your teachers, your bank tellers. Take your noisy neighbours who get off on watching info-tainment news and Jerry Springer.

I'm not totally into Michael Moore's sensationalism, but then again, he is fighting fire with fire; mood music with mood music; sound bites with sound bites. He is appealing to the audience that most needs to see this kind of thing, to at least begin to think critically a bit.

Besides, it's good to be able to take this subject matter with a good dose of laughter. That and incredulousness - it's one thing to know it, it's another to see it propagandised... Adam and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows on more than one occasion at some of the home-hitting footage.

For starters, give them Moore; Chomsky can come later.

Spent all day at the polls, without being able to vote.

Kinda like the "water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink" expression...

They wouldn't let me leave my poll booth for the 10 minutes it would have taken to run over to the school where I was designated to vote, nor could I get a last-minute transfer. At least it "dealt with" my dilemna about whether to vote NDP (the party I'm most in lign with this time around) or Liberal (strategically, because in my riding there seemed a too-good chance of a Conservative win, and this seemed the only feasible way to counter that in a not-so-green 'hood).

Funny moment when a lady came over and I looked at the list and told her a lady had already been by to vote, claiming to be her. She was really freaked out. Yep, until we figured out there were actually two near-identical names very close together on the list, and had crossed out the wrong one when the other lady had come...

Other than that, lots of waiting for people; turnout seemed surprisingly low. Luckily, my DRO was Nikki, whom I know from way back, so we got to chat during the lulls. Even luckier, we were at least somewhat competent, meaning we got to leave at around 10:30pm - instead of having to count and re-count through the unbalanced ballots, like some of our more electorally-challenged colleagues...

Anyways, shluffy time :)

P.S. Chatting on MSN with different friends in Mexico City, where there was this huge march with like a million people, literally, all dressed in white earlier. Impressive images, though I don't quite get the politics of it - apparently corporate-sponsored or something...

From the Om after-party Friday night at the El Mocombo to today's Pride festivities, the weekend has been full of people and music, connection and recollection, not to mention inner motion.

Amandha told me on the dance floor not to see it as a path, life's journey, but a river. I am feeling that now, the movements around me and my own current, the way that loves and plans and emotions are ebbing and floating (away and towards me), shifting and ondulating, maturing and morphing, the warmer spots and the chilly spots, the various skies along the way (a river can be a "way", too, right?)...

In the real world, I finally sent off a cover letter for another job in Sustainable Development (due Friday, but I figure if they get it by the time they check e-mail on Monday, it won't make a difference when over the weekend it was sent). Project management and writing stuff for an international organisation based in Geneva. Pretty perfect-sounding. Not sure what chance I have; there are so few good jobs out there and so many qualified applicants... But must keep up the hope (and motivation to keep looking & applying).

On a more flaky note (no insult meant to flakiness), I started working more with energies. It's amazing. Just intuitively; I have no formal Reiki training or anything, which may be a good thing, not to be saddled by a particular school of thought... Yesterday I did some... energy massage I will call it... on Julia Barely even touching her back, I totally "touched" her to the point she said it felt like my hands were inside of her... So weird, yet so cool. I want to work that more...

Okay, must get outa dreamy hippy land and get some sleep, tomorrow I work the elections, starting early - 12 hours+ straight, baby... FUN.

P.S. PLEASE VOTE TOMORROW, YOUNG CANADIANS, SO WE DON'T TURN INTO THE STATES, OKAY!?!

Check out the link to "Attack of the Monster Garbage Cans" at http://www.publicspace.ca/ for more information and what you can do to help keep the visual (and other) contamination levels of T.O. down.

Below, my (now-open) letter to the Works Committee:

Dear Works Committee members,

As a Canadian who has spent the better part of the last year working in the Division of Early Warning and Assessment at the United Nations Environment Programme's Regional Office for Latin America and the Caribbean, I applaud and support any efforts to introduce more recycling initiatives in Toronto.

However, during my time in Mexico City, I became all too familiar with the "hidden" costs of increasing visual pollution in the "public space" that is, sadly, in many cases now a blatant misnomer. In this light, I would ask that you please reconsider your plan to install the new 7.5 foot Olifas Marketing Group mega-ad cans (which, incidentally, I understand violate the City's own Sign Bylaw designed to protect our public spaces from proliferation of commercial advertising).

After all, the primary purpose of these ad-trash cans is presumably to encourage people to buy more from those very companies most responsible for the contamination of our city and its surroundings. In addition to contributing directly to our landfill problems, they will also negatively impact the visual landscape of the streets upon which they are imposed.

Toronto is, luckily, still a far way off from the extremely over-polluted (visually and otherwise) Distrito Federal (aka Mexico City). I sincerely hope that, in the interest of keeping it this way, you will do all in your power to avoid quick-fix solutions that, although economically tempting, in the end will result in greater costs to society and the environment than the income they generate.

If you have any questions or would like to discuss this matter in greater detail, please don't hesitate to contact me. Thank you very much for your attention to this matter.

-----------

If you want to write your own letter to the Works Committee or speak out by making a Deputation at City Hall (Monday, July 5th - check site closer to date for exact time) or sending comments to be distributed at the meeting/to city councillors, city staff & media, check out that web site (http://www.publicspace.ca/) - it tells you how!!

Spent the day with my bro and my cousins on Centre Island.

It's really nice there, especially away from CentreVille - should try to go more often whilst in the GTA.

I got excited when Eli told me he'd just married his first female couple in an obviously not-so-traditional (nor, given the State, legal) Jewish ceremony. They had to sorta wing lots of the typically gendered parts. In the end, for example, both crushed the glass.

I always wanted to crush that glass when I did the role-playing weddings in nursery school and stuff, but it was always the boys who got the satisfaction.

I think the whole bending-the-traditions/rules thing is so cool. Yay progress :)

If I ever opt for a Jewish nuptial ceremony, I definitely want in on the fun of glass-crushing goodness...

P.S. Memorial in the park in Kensington for Tooker. Late arrival, later entrance (for not feeling like breaking into the circle). Didn't know him personally, but from the way his death and life shook so many of my friends & acquaintances while I was in Mexico, felt I should be there, to offer support and maybe gain understanding or something.

Just got back from Om and Em's cottage and the Weston Hotel (where my cousins from Colorado are staying for a few days) and have so many things to write that I can't possibly write them all before I must fade away to sleep in "my own" bed for the first time in forever-ish...

Om Memories:
star spinning
forest dancing
fire warming
massage circling
smoke passing
friend seeing
stranger knowing
long hugging
deep thinking
light sleeping
body moving
hula hooping
vegan eating
gate keeping
hand holding
tent folding
cycles end/starting
paths parting
hopes opening
fears calming
visions merging
plans converging

And then jolted awake at Em's cable-equipped cottage by the realities of the CBC and City TV: child molesters and elections and forest fires and the rest of the sound bites and reminders of violated rites...

At least, tonight I learned, my cousin, the rabbi, has come around since the last time we talked about the war, and is now against Bush and looking forward to seeing Michael Moore's new film...

So there is hope, after all...

*she says/wonders to herself with a yawn and the knowledge it's all in perspective; that sometimes self-delusion, or at least optimistic spin, is a necessary defense - that although against the implications of Taylor & Brown's "positive illusions" theories, whose action-less esteem-protecting properties are objectively destructive, if we're gonna keep looking at the facts, we've gotta keep dreaming and envisioning, being the change small-scale even if it seems macro-silly, beleiving in the possibility, our own ability...*

Toronto really ain't so bad, after all...

Bombing around on a borrowed low-rider, in a city that at least respects bikers so much as to have separate lanes and parking spaces allotted to them, feels so darned good. I have missed pedal power so much. The smiles on the sidewalks, the adrenalin rushes, the slight well-earned ache in your legs, the guilt-free conscience...

Incidentally, today I lunched with Herb, fellow IISD alumni and currently bike ambassador to this city: which in post-Algonquin or post-Vancouver days once seemed so chaotic, dirty and polluted, but now strikes me more as lake-side resort town than a bustling metropolis.

Also went to the TIG offices to see lady (Amy) about a poem and put some faces to the names and 2-D images that to date have formed my mental image of the TakingITGlobal group.

Oh, and met up with CC, my former boss, who said he may have some occasional work for me (possibly in neat places like the Maritimes and out West) and is enthusiastic about hooking me up with people who may be able to help in the job hunt. Staying optimistic...

Just got back from Vegetarian Haven; would like to dedicate this last sentence to the wonderfullness of vegetarianism being a viable, non-punishable option here.

Just got back from Marni's wedding.

Still bit tipsy (chocolate and apple martinis and cosmopolitans a dangerous combo for someone who normally doesn't drink much but has a weakness for stuff that tastes so yummy), so as to qualify if anything below makes it seem so...

So, yeah, my old friend, from Saint Andrew's Junior High School, as in more than a decade of history, knowledge of pre-pubescence through post-university, is now a wife.

It was beautiful and emotional and so, so strange to witness the intensity of the nuptial ceremony, the traditional mixed with the modern-day, the kipahs and the shawls and the chupah and Chinese food stir fry to accompany the pre-sanctuary cocktails...

That stuff always makes me try to position myself within the context of my own culture and present, where I stand in relation to all that stuff and my own lived life, etc. etc. But I also just tried to chill and meet folks and enjoy the privilege of good food and drink and dance a bit.

People here dance so differently than what I've been used to; I couldn't help but wonder when the Mariachi or Norteño or Mexi-pop tunes would come out...

It was really fancy... I even went to Hayley's beforehand to have her do my hair in preparation for the "Black Tie invited" affair. Luckily I had a suitable dress kicking around and had prepared with a rush compra of incredibly uncomfortable but very sexy shoes last week in Tequisquapan (not exactly the shoe capital of the world, but they worked).

Okay, babbling now, time for bed... G'night!!

Just wondering who in the TIG community will be attending... From their web site:

"OM Summer Solstice Festival 2004, June 18-21, Ontario, CANADA

The OM Summer Solstice Festival is an annually anticipated gathering of global and local networks in rural Ontario, Canada. It is the opportunity to unite as one movement in celebration of music, art, activism and forward thinking.

It’s a place to create and inspire, a space to educate and empower and most importantly, a chance to unite and celebrate the strength of our community. We invite you to join us for 4 days together under the sun and stars while the midsummer night and longest day of the year converge.

This year, OM will include diverse sights and sounds. Eight sound villages will feature a cross-section of live musical and visual performances, dj’s, and workshops - all presented in a comprehensive edutainment environment. In addition to the creativity YOU bring, we will host inspiring talks, art installations, theme villages, a healing annex, a freeskool, a film festival, an art gallery, and a free community kitchen all entwined amidst the magical Canadian wilderness.

The OM Festival was born 7 years ago and as each year passes, it continues to organically develop into a thriving and radiant entity of free expression.

Spread the sound …

Just a few reminders …

This year OM is a 4-day outdoor camping event. Be prepared for rain or shine!

Don’t forget drinking WATER, a flashlight & a food donation for the KIND kitchen.

This is a zero garbage event so pack out what you bring in.

Leave no trace!

This festival is only as good as you make it.

No Spectators please!"

For more info, go to http://www.omfestival.com/

I am thinking in lists of late. Like "Things that used to seem normal that now seem odd" or "Good things about being back in Canada" or "Things I miss about Mexico". Maybe I will write some down later, but for now, must leave the house... Mom just got home to go to the bank and all that stuff and I have yet to shower or get dressed. Animo!

Totally beat.

Back in Canada.

Hard to believe I'm here...

Toronto never felt so foreign.

Hard goodbyes w/ Cesar at the airport, uneventful flight, Rob picking me up at the Toronto end, stopped in to drop the stuff at the folks and chill with my brother un ratito and then out to Coffee Time for fluorescent/sterile chat ambience, now home and tired and feeling a bit odd and out of place.

Welcome to reverse culture shock. Sorta wishing I'd had that IISD debriefing.

Oh yeah, the big green Mexicana Air bag, borrowed last night from Laura and at the moment considered a miracle because I needed somewhere to pack all my extra stuff, exploded some time between my checking it in Mexico and my getting it back in TO all wrapped in plastic. I mean big gaping holes, contents hanging out... Oh well, could have been worse. They could have lost it. Hope I didn't lose anything too valuable, though.

return through Queretaro taking a risk as to whether Julieta would be around, visit to the wine and cheese fair in Tequisquiapan with her after her dad luckily picked up the phone on my 5th and last try when the bus rolled in at 8am, back to DF, a ridiculously short Sunday trip to Taxco with César (basically we were only there for a late lunch, since we had less than 3 hours between arrival and last chance out on a bus, and more than double that in travel time!), now once again back in DF, last night to the Cineteca for a neat PNUMA and SEMARNAT-sponsored movie ¨Le Bien Commun¨ by Canadian/Quebecois filmmaker Carole Poliquin (isca to remember email: videoron.ca), now going a bit nutty, physically and emotionally exhausted, making last minute plans to try to see everyone one last time and try to find an extra duffel bag to see if I can minimize the damage of the ridiculous amount of extra overweight luggage I suspect I will pay dearly for if I dont succeed in reduction efforts...

Oof, hows that for a one-sentence update?? Currently in a cafe in CU (the University City) after a visit to Claudia V´s place (weve seen each other all of twice in the last eight months, despite over a decade of history, which is what happens when you combine DF commuting challenges and busy schedules), now should be visiting with German, but we are both staring at screens instead.

I think I would rather be doing this when I get back to Canada.

Hasta luego...

Yep, I just got stung. No time to write more, but lots of interesting twists and unexpeted directions/destinations of late. Damn that hurt, but don{t worry nana, the pain is quickly diminishing, and I am told should be totally gone by tomorrow... Currently leaving Punta Perula, heading east soon, though not sure via morelia or PV.

Internet cafe in Vallerta, waiting for the rest of the crew to show up, so we can squeeze like sardines into Davids car and head to Sayulita, a little town with a great beach (supposedly) about an hour from here.

Starting to feel the cumulative fatigue of going to sleep at dusk, but still having fun.

Kinda wish I knew where I´d be in 2 days when this cozy arrangement in La Cruz de Huanacaxtle expires, though, so I could start planning a bit better... Wait, no, maybe its better to leave it to luck. Luck seems to be on my side, so far.

Postcard message to my friends and loved ones: It´s hot and beachy in PV... Wish you were here!!

Amor,
Cara

P.S. Katie, I just found out about your operation from Leela, please take care of you, and I am sending a chingo of good vibes and love from here, and will try to call you soon, and if I cant get ahold of you from here, we will have a long conversation when I get back to Canada in a couple weeks, and I have been thinking of you lots and eating cool coconut ice cream on your behalf.

One door closes, a path grows over, a metaphor multiplies and mixes and becomes inpotent in the obliteration of a normal sleep schedule and other unforseen adventures...

Arrived in Vallerta with some reasonable expectations, like staying in the Mayan Palace with Erika, who had invited me. Surprise...

#1: There are 2 Mayan Palaces in Puerto Vallerta. No forwarding number or address, no reservation name, no luck in attempts at certaintly in obtaining them.

#2: After guessing (correctly I later found), the girls weren´t there.

#3: There was no room for me in the room.

This latter was luckily found out after I had, on instinct, started working magic in the bar, where the Carlos the bar tender had bought me a Pina Colada and proceeded to invite me out, leading me to a quesadilla dinner (I was starving) and another bar where I befriended David, a Canadian, who invited me to stay a few nights at his parents place a half hour outside town. So, I went and picked up my stuff, ditched behind the reception desk at the Mayan, and embarked on a nuevo camino...

Happy, healthy (if a bit Circadian-cyclically challenged), meeting lots of people - incidentally mostly bar tenders (Carlos, Raul/Rufo, Jesse, etc.) - and learning to roll with the onda...

Destination next??

Youre kidding if you want me to write out the whole thing all over again, you /&%/$#"$$" computer. I cant beleive you just erased it on me, just as I was about to post. I have some choice words Id like to give you, but my mom might forward this to my grandmother, and then Id be in trouble.

Anyways, short version: I made it. Got in around 1:30am. Staying with Juan Pablo (aka Jean Paul), who I met off hospitality club, and basically have an open invite. Waiting to get an address in Puerto Vallerta from Erika, who should be leaving DF tonight, so if that happens, I should be heading to the beach!! If not, who knows..

Gotta run, just got a text message that dinners waiting in the casa.

Love,
Cara

P.S. Mike, I swear, Wednesday night I was totally dry. Not even the most corrupt alcoholimetro cop woulda had a (hollow) leg to stand on. However, a lo mejor tienes razon para echar la culpa de los otros a su consumpcion...

What a night. After dinner at the Muy Thai Bar Fly with some folks we met walking down the street (Juan - Mexican, Josh - Gringo, Tom - Brit), we wandered and talked and stumbled into a cantina with a urinal in the entrance. You see something new...

Then, de repente, Tom and I found ourselves alone in the park, having no idea where the other three had gone off to. Eventually we decided to head back to my hotel, since Abud had the key and would have to come back, right? Like 2 hours later, the guys showed up, after my having put poor Tom through some lovely ranting, and Abud and I finally went to sleep in likely the most scummy hotel I´ve ever stayed in (recommended by the dude in the tourism booth at the bus station - impressively large cockroach spotted in reception _after_ we´d paid the room, luckily didn´t notice anything quite so big in the room ;) ).

Today, Abud and I went to the mummy museum. Crazy stuff. Lots of pics of oddly well-preserved bodies, replete with hair and facial expressions.

Tonight, thinking of heading to Guadalajara, but not totally sure. We´ll see...

At long last, got my act together to leave the city. Thank G-d, I was going a bit stir crazy.

Just got to Guanajuato with Abud, whose time limitations aren´t allowing for Yucatan, which I didn´t feel like doing alone right now. Not too sure on plans, but likely will head west to Puerto Vallerta, where it would be coold if I could et some SCUBA learning in, but we´ll have to see where the wind (and pocket book) take me...

There are underground stone tunnel-streets here, and so far the rest of this once mining-rich town is pretty neat too. Still don´t have a place to stay, so should probably get on that.

Can´t believe there are only 2 weeks until I head back to Canada - weird. Likely to be a countdown theme..

Okay, yeah, I'm still in D.F.

Been kinda delayed, trying to deal with some administrative hassles, like the folks at the FIA office who illegally sold me a Mexican International Driver's Permit to go with a Canadian License (I just got an e-mail from CAA in Canada confirming my hunch) and refuse to give me all my money back, and waiting for Abud, my potential Yucatan travel partner who is trying to get his Master's degree certificate from York University in Toronto so he can get to Germany to do his PhD already, to sort out his administrative hassles there. So I guess I can't just blame bad Mexican business practices...

Currently at the lower-key version of Pancho's birthday celebration - last night was the big bash, this is the 6.5 (Abi counting as a half, at best ;) ) intimitate friend gathering at Laura's apartment. I just got scolded by Pancho for being antisocial, so I should go over to the couch area and socialise. Actually, that was probably half an hour ago. I'm coming, I'm coming....

Friday, May 14: Goodby party/veggie potluck at my place, kicked ass (albeit attempts at fixed 7pm start time and understandings of the constitution of a veggie pot luck fell a bit short, with many folks genuinely believing beer to be an acceptable vegetarian meal-type dish...), with awesome people and energy and dancing (for once very welcome) in the living room.

I spent all day making an amazing 5 sauce veggie lasagna (the reason I don´t cook often), to go alongside my two lentil spreads (one vegan, one with cheese and cream), and other dishes brought by guests, including creamy potatoes, mediterranean salad, nopal salad, lebanese food (tahbouli, humous, jocoque, babaganoush, all dipped with pita chips), the usual snacks, wine, beer, tequila, etc... Last guests stayed until the sun was rising.

Special thanks to Erika for showing up early to help set up and César for lending music/DJ talent and staying late to help clean up, and Aynsley for getting the door lots and, albeit post-event, kindly agreeing to share her peanuts with the guests who invaded them...

Saturday, May 15: The clean-up. Long, disgusting, tedious, but worth it. Then, the organising/packing had to start. Not my favourite chores, but had to be done.

Sunday, May 16: Finish packing, the move. Laura came by with Abril (her daugher) right during dance class, finally got everything out of the house. The two big bags (suitcase & duffel) are at her place, and I donated the kitchen stuff and other random remains to the 28E Guanajuato crew (César, Carlos, Sandra, Adela), where I´m currently staying for a few days until I can get my act together to travel.

On arrival, lit a candle and stuck it in the black forest cake and sang las mananitas to Sandra in honour of her birthday last week.

Monday, May 17 (yesterday): Met up with Lenin for breakfast, went to officially change my flight to June 10 dressed appropritely for the sunny day in sandals, a tye-dye hippy skirt and tank top (not expecting the sudden storm to greet and drench me on my way back), ran through the rain holding a bakery-donated bag over my head (angry at myself for not bringing an umbrella) and attracting comments (I´m sure I looked very wet and silly), dried off, called Loy (Lorena), who came by the apartment after work and went with her and César for Chapata sanwiches on Alvaro Obregon, got home late, ate cake (they, not me, stuffed), watched Great Expectations, slept.

Tuesday, May 18 (today): Plumming fiasco. Water that turns on should theoretically turn off, but apparently it doesn´t work that way. Called César at work freaking out that the bathtub was going to overflow and got instructions on how to turn off the main water pipe in the house. It wasn´t my fault, I swear...

Phone call to the International License people. What a hassle. Looks like they will give me half my money back (almost 600 pesos, which means they get to keep almost 600 pesos), even though they never should have issued an international driver´s permit in Mexico to someone with a Canadian license. At least as far as I understand. I´ll try to work it out tomorrow. Fingers crosed (haciendo chongitos).

Now I´m stealing Emiliano´s work computer after a veggie comedor lunch with him and Livia, very late to meet (Maria´s) Isaac at the cafe of the Frente Zapatista. Still many things to do in D.F., like finishing stuff off at the office, once and for all.

Thinking of travelling to the Yucatan to Abud (the oldest Farca Luna sibling, my adopted family here), but he doesn´t know when he can do it, since he´s gotta wait to get the tramites and medical certificates to move to Germany for his doctorate. I´m just about ready to get on the road, although I´m suddenly getting unexpectedly tolerant of all the things (okay, at least some of the things) I´ve spent the last 8 months bitching about...

Anyways, really must run, but wanted to fill in since I got some ¨oh, you´re alive¨ comments when I went onto MSN today :)

FYI, internet access has been a challenge lately. Likely will remain so until I´m back in Canada in mid-June.

Friday night: stopped by the supposed "alcoholimetro" on the way to Kenia's concert, where Laura, who hadn't even been drinking and only stopped to wait for Pancho, who had been pulled over, was forced by the asshole cop to give $100 or he'd take her car. Needless to say, after arguing for half an hour at the side of the road, we missed Kenia, who was opening, but stayed for the rest of the Norteño night, including getting sucked in by the sombrero vendor. I have now officially reached cliché-dom.

Saturday: off to Oaxtepec with Gerardo and César, with a surprise walk through the town leading to a lively "Day of the Old" party. Crazy costumes (including a guy whose costume was 60% American flag), people of all ages taking to the street and boogying down, pink shaving cream and fireworks flying (I managed to get hit by the former), getting lost and found, then to sleep at Gerardo's family's house in Cuarnevaca, instead of the original camping plan for which I was all psyched up (oh well - it was still a pretty cool house).

Sunday: we went to these crazy cool water falls ("Salto de Anton" or "Cascada de Anton" I think), where the volcanic eruption long, long ago had formed prisms and so the rock walls around the falls are this crazy cool rectangular texture. On our way out, we each bought a ring from a 104-year-old man, very very impressed he could handle the steep climb that got our hearts beating fast. Unfortunately, the rings leave dye on the skin when wet, as I discovered shortly thereafter.

Monday (now): came into the office to finish up some business, instead spent most of the day online job searching and applying for stuff and responding to e-mails from people who responded to my mass e-mail, so I'm going to come back in on Thursday and take care of all the necessary pendientes...

Must get out of here, it's like 9:30 pm, and I have (had?) plans to go hang out with Lenin after I got done here...

On the other hand, maybe I should take advantage of free computer time and try to get this job I just found that I'm totally unqualified for (it's asking for 7 years upper management experience)... Hey, ya never know...

Cleaning up, throwing away, saying goodbye.

The latter doesn't quite feel real yet.

Coming across things at the bottom of drawers I had totally forgotten I'd put there. And under my desk, between the garbage and the cubby wall. And on the ledges above my desk. And, well, you get the point.

I think I'm going to have a veggie potluck/party at my place next Friday (i.e., not tonight). If I can get all packed up and ready before then, so as to get the f*&k outa dodge right afterwards ;) (Onh, Katie, saying that reminded me so much of you - if you're reading this, drop me a line. Miss you!!)

It's so weird to be in this space; everything feels so normal now, sitting at my still-cluttered desk writing an update as if it were a normal Friday, and I'd be back Monday to work like usual (I may actually come in Monday to get last details sorted, but it won't be like usual)...

So many little things left to do: write farewell mass e-mails, set my (permanent) away message, copy e-mail addresses and computer files, set up a folder for the next intern, update my phone list, pick up my last cheque, and other assorted tasks that are slipping my mind (hopefully I'll remember before it's too late).

The department is ordering pizza for lunch. Balancing out the vegetarian (guess who's choice) with a meat-lover's (Kaveh's choice). For the last time. I can't believe I'm getting sentimental over pizza.

Must snap out of this.

Still don't know where I'm going to be in two weeks/two months/two years... But pretty sure I'll be heading back to Toronto in mid-June, at least to say hello.

Okay, now this is becoming procrastinating. At which I am very skilled. Which is very bad. Must stop. The end.

Pizza's here :)

P.S. I know TIG update count on my profile page says 104 or something, but there are a bunch (well, 4, to be precise) of blank entries at the bottom I can't delete.

Today I went to my last GEO Juvenil Mexico meeting.

Not only was it good, if a bit sad, to see everyone to say goodbye and give hugs and make plans to keep in contact, but instead of the usual junk food, someone brought crackers and mini-goat-cheeses from the cheese museum, coated in different things (e.g., pesto, garlic, ashes, sesame seeds, black pepper, nuts, etc.). Given that breakfast had been small and about 5 hours earlier, needless to say, I feasted.

I made sure to get some final group shots outside and then had to run back upstairs for my stuff, which annoyed Luis because were late for my departmental goodbye lunch at Kaveh's place. In my honour, Kaveh had even arranged for Rosita to make the pozole with veggie broth (as opposed to caldo de pollo/chicken broth).

Thing is, I'd eaten so much of the yummy cheeses and crackers and assorted goodies at the meeting, I just wasn't feeling up to the pozole. I ate, but without much gusto, and not very much or very fast. To make matters worse, by the time we got there, Maru, Tere and Kaveh were already eating, so my lack of consumption was all the more notable. Finally, I decided to give up and have a bit the coffee-banana loaf that everyone else was already on, and take my remaining pozole for later.

I knew it was bad, but what could I do? I just wasn’t feeling it…

So, I thanked everyone profusely, and on the way out made a point of hugging Kaveh and apologizing. Kaveh said he'd forgive me on the condition that I stop talking about it, since I guess my guilty conscience had been making matters worse. So I did.

But then I got back in the car with Luis and he made me feel oh so much better by saying I'd committed the worst grosería (i.e., act of rudeness) I could have in Mexico by not eating my pozole, and that I shouldn't have eaten the desert. But I wanted desert, and a little slice of fresh coffee-banana loaf, with a couple spoons of ice cream, just goes down so much easier than chili-corn soup when you’re not hungry!

Now I feel all crappy. I'll get over it, but still...

I suppose the lesson to be learned is: don't pig out on the goat cheese, no matter how appetizing, when someone is going out of their way to make you a meal. Or something like that.

I think I'll try to invite the department out for a meal before I go, and see if we can do better - I'll check my pocket book, but I'm thinking Saks, a nice veggie restaurant near my soon-to-be-ex-house...

Yesterday I headed to Tepoztlán, Morelos with Aynsley abd César, where we met up with Claudia Valeria (GEO Juvenil Morelos co-ordinator). Lunch with a great view to live music, town party, selling our reserved tickets to go back later... It was lovely. I'll be optimistic and say I'll write the whole adventure later, but time is pressed these days, so I likely won't. Trust me, though, it was lovely...

At long last, "GEO for Youth in Latin America and the Caribbean: A Capacity Building Manual" is now available online :)

Although created by and for youth of the Latin America and the Caribbean region, it's full of information that would be useful to anyone looking to take action on environmental and sustainability issues.

See below for detailed descriptions of the manual and links to downloadable versions in English & Spanish, and let me know what you think!

Enjoy,
Cara


Por fin está disponible en línea el Manual de Capacitación de GEO Juvenil para América Latina y el Caribe :)

Aunque ha sido creado por jóvenes y para jóvenes de la región de América Latina y el Caribe, contiene información muy útil para todos los que están buscando realizar acciones en temas de medio ambiente y sostenibilidad.

Vean abajo para una descripción detallada del Manual y una liga para accesar las versiones en PDF en inglés y español, y díganme lo que piensan.

Diviértanse,
Cara


English: http://www.rolac.unep.org/geojuve%20ing.htm

GEO for Youth in Latin America and the Caribbean: A Capacity Building Manual

This manual, like all GEO for Youth in LAC publications, was created through a participative process involving youth from across the region. The last details regarding the manual and its contents were ironed out during the last meeting of the GEO for Youth network in November 2003 in Mexico City.

The manual is divided in three chapters. The first, The State of the Environment in our Region, deals with our most pressing environmental problems. Each section is followed by questions and discussion topics designed to help readers identify the causes and effects of the issues covered in the chapter.

The second chapter, Future Scenarios, looks at what could happen if we continue along our current path towards environmental degradation. It also shows how we might change our behaviours and environmental management methodologies.

The third chapter, Youth Action Guide, provides tools and guidance to help young people to work for our communities and our environment. This guide includes precise and practical information on how to start environmental groups capable of carrying out successful projects.

We will soon begin the promotion of the manual in various countries and the development of different programs to disseminate the manual and put its guidelines into practice.

We hope that everyone consults this manual, which encourages the region’s youth to actively participate in decision making processes, build their capacities and, through ongoing efforts, create a more sustainable region.
For more information on how to acquire a hard copy of the manual, please write to geoyouth@pnuma.org.


Español: http://www.pnuma.org/geo-juvenil-04/geojuve.htm

El Manual de Capacitación de GEO Juvenil para América Latina y el Caribe ha sido diseñado como un complemento al informe GEO Juvenil para ayudar a los jóvenes líderes, a los estudiantes, a los profesores y a todos los interesados en el medio ambiente en la enseñanza de la sostenibilidad, con la finalidad de traducirla en acciones concretas y generar cambios positivos a nivel local.

Esta publicación, como todas las de GEO Juvenil, ha sido creada a través de un proceso participativo. Durante la última reunión de la red GEO Juvenil celebrada en noviembre de 2003 en la Ciudad de México, se discutieron los últimos detalles y el contenido final de nuestro manual.

Este manual está organizado en tres capítulos. El primero, El estado del medio ambiente en nuestra región, examina los principales problemas ambientales en la región. Cada sección está seguida por preguntas y temas de discusión diseñados para ayudar a los lectores a identificar las causas y los efectos de las materias abordadas.

El segundo capítulo, Escenarios futuros, nos alerta sobre lo que podría pasar si continuamos por el mismo camino de degradación y nos indica cómo podemos cambiar nuestras acciones y nuestro manejo del medio ambiente.

El tercer capítulo, Guía de acción juvenil, proporciona herramientas y asesoría para ayudar a los jóvenes de la región a trabajar por nuestras comunidades y nuestro medio ambiente. Esta incluye información precisa y práctica sobre cómo comenzar un grupo ambiental y convertirlo en un proyecto exitoso.

Próximamente se comenzará a promocionar este material en diferentes países se desarrollarán diferentes programas para ponerlo en práctica.

Esperamos que todos consulten este material y que pueda reforzar el compromiso de incentivar a la juventud en la región para que participe activamente en la toma de decisiones y para lograr con la suma permanente de esfuerzos y capacidades, una región más sostenible.

Para más información sobre como adquirir este material impreso favor de escribir a: geojuvenil@pnuma.org.

So, I went in to talk to Kaveh (back from Brazil, back in the office) today.

He told me he'd love to have me stay on in DEWA and keep working on GEO for Youth.

Which would be great news had this not been accompanied by a big BUT(t): the project is broke. I mean, NOOO money.

They didn't even really have the resources to keep me on for my last extension. And since any immediate fundraising efforts would be unlikely to show results in the near future, there was no other answer he could give: I've gotta go. Y ya.

So, it's official. My time at UNEP is quickly coming to an end (at least for now - Kaveh said he will keep me posted on any future opportunities, funding pending) and I've got to seriously start thinking about next steps. Like maybe finding a new job, in some wonderful location, doing something cool...

Or maybe I should just worry about tying up lose ends for now, and save the serious worrying for after a well-deserved vacation (when I leave PNUMA on May 10th, I'll have 8 days of accumulated days off I never took, so I'm giving myself a bit of travel time before most likely returning to Toronto in time for Marni's wedding - fingers crossed!)...

Anyways, tonight I’m hooking up with Isaac and Maria at the new Zapatista café to bid her farewell before she heads back to Spain on Monday. It’s the end of an era, folks. Oof.

P.S. If anyone is interested in seeing my C.V., or forwarding it to influential people who may be able to offer me my (next) dream job (or something tolerable to pay rent in the meantime), please let me know! I swear, I'm good! I've got references!

Transitions suck. Especially if you're not sure what you're transitioning to.

When life gets vague and undefined, I tend to go abstract and otherwise not so together - hence the poetry-prose-type entries.

In more specific terms, here are some of the issues I'm dealing with at the moment:

My current contract at UNEP-ROLAC (PNUMA-ORLAC) ends in less than two weeks.

According to Luis, there may be a possibility of another extension, but as of yet, what with his having been in Brazil and then off sick, I haven't had the chance to bring it up with the boss. Beyond that, I'm not totally positive I want to stay in D.F., or what other opportunities are out there for me right now.

Since I don't know if I'm staying at PNUMA, I don't know if I should pay another month's rent or, on the other hand, do the last-minute things I'd need to do if I were leaving, like making travel plans and packing up, fast.

Since I don't have a guaranteed job, I've got to be looking for work, at the same time as trying to wrap up all my pendientes here.

Since I don't know where I'll be in a month, I can't RSVP to the weddings I've been invited in Toronto, or make any definite plans for that matter.

Likewise, since I don't have a fixed departure date, I've got to deal with the possibility of saying goodbye to all the people and places that have become my life over the last 7 months, while not being sure if/when that final goodbye will be taking place.

So, basically, that's my situation.

I love the excitement of living in different places, of getting to know diverse cultures and geographical locations and people, and feel so privileged to have been given the opportunity to experience everything I’ve recently had the opportunity to experience...

But this grey area between coming and going, between the best job I've ever had and possible unemployment, between a mixed living situation (awesome roommates, but domineering landlady & politics, etc.) and homelessness, between a fixed schedule/home base and no schedule/home base, etc., is hard to deal with.

So, out come the imagery, the inability to speak in clear terms or see things clearly, the doubts and worries and all that fun stuff.

I was recently told that I will be successful in the long run, no matter how things appear to me from day to day, that the universe and nature are on my side.

I’m trying my best to keep the faith…

Hope this clears things up :)

not all visions captured
are beautiful and good
stories should prick sharp
like the barbed wires
circling the view
cutting through
your barred bed-room
window reflecting
the neighbour’s television
opening to the world
brick, cement, antenna, cloud
textures rough and brown
rusted silver linings caught up
in the picture of my (i)
mage out of focus too
often taking for granted
this site/sight/in spite
of tear-shined lenses
reflecting the bars
a/light through lids
moist voids clenched might
only an abstraction
a distraction, this moment
fading, depth receding
camera-less without a shot
in the dark i wander back
down the street to wait
for this weight to shift
this phase to lift…






p.s. thank you (you know who) for thinking of me last night, for reaching out from another world. just when the rabbit hole dropped me down, another story. thanks for reminding me there’s light back up top, that it was my choice to (s)p(e)lunk… our “hippy phone” (as M calls it) is still connected, i suppose.

they're watering the pavement
like they think it's gonna grow
like the world's got lots of water
to be wasted on their show

it makes me wanna vomit
that they just don't seem to care
that one in four lacks access and
their green lawns just aren't fair

i wanna plug their hoses
i wanna make them pay
the true cost of the liquid gold
they're pilfering away...

metro-bought tick-tock taps
my brain or is it a ghost
in bed - still - stained
slumber old dry thick
blue sheets beneath me shift
the sounds of cars outside
crashing perhaps and coughing
even within since air cycles on
no matter how altered my lungs
starve for the heavy stuff
damn addiction, benediction:

if i could sleep
i might dream

(*smash the clock*
fantasy)

but would i awaken

on time

stagnant pillow talk (tic)
fucking mental tic (talk)
under my lids light
dancing through obscurity,
obliquity, obsequy.

standing at his office door, she addresses her boss (who is also the regional coordinator of the division of early warning and assessment at the united nations environment programme's regional office for latin america and the caribbean, aka an environmental big-shot).

c: are you drinking honey tea or something?

k: yes i am, would you like some?

c: no, no, i just have a hyperactive sense of smell and was wondering where it was coming from. it smells lovely, though.

k: well, i was feeling a bit congested, so i decided to try to ward it off.

c: don't get sick. i was just there, and i'm very happy to be getting over it.

k: well, it's that time of year.

c: yes, seems to be. i've noticed all the candy vendors on the street selling kleenex.

k: well, when the rain stops and it dries up, the air gets full of... i would normally say floating particulates, but really it's floating poo.

c: ugh. yes, there's a lot of it here, isn't there? i remember reading about that before i came.

k: just try not to breathe with your mouth open. *laughs* it's not dust.

c: yeah, thanks.

Finally, the printed final version of the Manual de Capacitación has arrived!! It's pretty and shiny and colourful and finished, yay yay yay!

In looking over the hard copy, I realise I somehow managed to leave a visible mark - by mention of my name or by my having taken or my appearing in a pictured photo - on no less than 30 pages... I swear, the designer picked the images, not me, really ;)

Anyways, I must admit it's a bit of an ego boost to have contributed so much to a collaborative youth/UN publication, not to mention one that, if all goes according to plan, will help youth from across the region create positive environmental change in their communities. Can't wait 'til the English version is published (last comments were sent to the designer today).

Oh, and thanks to those of you who were concerned and sent nice messages telling me to feel better and stuff. FYI, my cold is way better, and very soon (I hope) I'll be back to normal, < griping > about the day-to-day pollution-induced symptoms, which funny enough are quite similar to "exceptional" gripa symptoms :)

< I love that the Spanish word for cold, gripe, is an English word that means: "To complain naggingly or petulantly; grumble." (www.dictionary.com) :P >

If so, the April 20 deadline is fast approaching... Note the criteria outlined below and muy buena suerte (good luck!) :)

------------
YCLSF Internship Program

The International Institute for Sustainable Development is recruiting for the Young Canadian Leaders for a Sustainable Future (YCLSF)international internship program. We are currently seeking 25 young professionals to take up 6 month positions in Kenya, Switzerland, Netherlands, United Kingdom, USA, South Africa, Costa Rica, India, etc.

Placements are with such organizations as, the United Nations Environment Programme, The World Conservation Union, The World Business Council for Sustainable Development, Development Alternatives, Leadership for Environment and Development, etc.

Application deadline for is April 20th, 2004

Start Date: August and September.

The application form and additional details on the placements are posted at http://www.iisd.org/interns/

You will need to submit the following documents: transcripts, resume, cover letter, application form, a copy of a research paper and two letters of reference in order to be considered for a position. IISD is committed to equal opportunity.

To be eligible for the YCLSF program you must meet the following criteria:

* be a Canadian citizen or permanent resident;
* be between 19 and 30 years of age;
* be a graduate of a college or university program;
* be unemployed or underemployed;
* have not previously participated in an internship program funded under the Canadian Government's Youth employment Strategy (YES)/Career Focus program;
* have had no previous paid career related international work experience;
* have knowledge and understanding of sustainable development issues and practices; and
* be available for a minimum of 6 months

An amount will be provided to cover basic living expenses.

All inquires should be directed to: YCLSF Program Manager,
Phone: (204) 958-7700 Fax: (204) 958-7710 Email: intern-info@iisd.ca

Funding is made possible with support from the Government of Canada's Youth Employment Strategy (YES) Career Focus Program, through contributions from Foreign Affairs Canada and International Trade Canada and the Canadian International Development Agency

Okay, so I guess I shouldn't complain about a common cold (at least I hope what this is), but the whole constellation of nose-throat-head symptoms is just no fun. Attempts to OD on agua, vitamina C, ginger (albeit the artificially pink kind that comes with sushi, as I have yet to find the fresh/natural version I was hoping to use in a limon-miel-jengibre tea), and other healthy things (like sleep) seem to be helping. Also skipping Capoeira to give the bod some time to descansa...

Yesterday I paid what could possibly be my last month's rent on San Lorenzo. Questions about the nearing future are getting increasingly pressing.

What country will I be in in 2 months? in 6? What will I be doing?

(Anyone with any psychic premonitions (or job offers), please feel free to share! Those who have been asking, for some reason expecting me to know more than you, I promise, I don't...)