Halloween weekend, I became a cowgirl.

3 days, toe to head, of cowboy boots, a sombrero, and lots of neat touches in between... The red checked shirt, jean vest, lila's belt, a blond wig (Saturday on) and even a silver gun (given to me at Salem's loft - where, due to heat, I ended up in the corsette and bandana-around-neck as a top layer). Despite my overwhelmingly pacifistic orientation, damn there's some power to being able to stick a (toy) gun at someone! ("Power corrupts...") Oh, and playing with Nancy's cat woman whip was definitely fun - harkening back to those horse-training days at a black-light techno-beatin' party with superheros and fairies and other wacky characters was a bit surreal.

Last night, I finally went to perform at the Victory Cafe's poetry night. Dave and Em watched, and Cris did some of her own stuff. There's nothing quite like the rush of anticipating, performing, and coming down from the experience of standing before a room full of strangers armed only with your intimate words. I was nervous (it showed a bit, in voice, in stance). I grabbed Em's hand as we got to #4 (I was #5) and didn't let go until I went up. I guess practice will make that better... Although the adrenalin of nerves isn't really something I want to totally abolish - better for you than drugs, although possibly as addictive.

Right now, remembering the lake at Keji:

our bodies liberated
from the clothing that made them
invisible to nearby family-
rated beaches

it was necessary
to abuse our feet
of shoes and pound
over pebbles, rushing in
to water, naked, wading
painfully
quickly
submerged

city kids full on RV B-B-Qs rode past
on fancy bikes du(al)ly-suspensed
looked out toward us but saw only dark
shimmering reflections of sunlight and trees
two smiling faces, wet shiny hair
devoid of shampoo and less sterilised
parts hidden from view

you held my rest against
your chest pressed into my back
legs kicking rhythmically, strong
enough so i could let go
of the red buoy or
buoyancy itself

and you would keep me afloat
with your grace

amongst other things
unspoken
ungestured
understood that day